Thankful and Lucky

Are you still bitter about your illness
Most times, I hate my illness, it ruined my life - 0.0%
I'm starting to come to grips, but I'm still bitter - 0.0%
It's getting better, but I don't feel thankful - 66.7%
People have been there for me somewhat - 0.0%
I feel lucky to a degree, but I'm not thankful - 33.3%
I'm doing well and I do feel thankful - 0.0%

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/5/2007 2:13 PM (GMT -7)   


I have BP II, many years of illness/hospitals/ECT/meds etc.  I wrote this article for me and everyone else.  Hope you like it. 

Most of us living with mental illness; it’s not uncommon to feel bitter and regret.  Why did this happen to me?  Why did the illness pick me?   I, too, am the cynic at times.

I married a man who took his vows seriously, ‘in sickness and in health’ and stuck by me down the rough, rocky road of depression/bipolar.  It’s true, this is an illness, however, living with a spouse/family member wracked with depression must take its toll.

I could twist this into a negative, but some may disagree, instead a positive to find out who my true friends were; and that I did.  Although results were negative and it took a while to overcome losses – I’m ok with it now.

However burdened by this illness, and hospitalized too many times, I would never have met the caring nurses that sat with me daily.  They encouraged me, with good advice, and not just head patting stating “yes, things will get better, dear”.  These nurses were my savior at times.

The people, my fellow patients, whom I met during my many stays in hospital.  I would never have met these beautiful people, and a couple of these very close friends I lost due to suicide, and as writing this, I still well up with tears.  All of us were just trying to survive each day; many living behind a trapped door, most of us succumbed by the giant hands of depression.  Some of us would sit and share stories; our children, jobs, families.  These were genuine people; not people to be dismissed by society because of an illness – mental illness.

Striking gold finding the caring, compassionate psychiatrist that I have now.

And I do have to thank my employer.  They took a chance on me.  I was the one who was unemployed for a number of years and produced a resume packed with holes.  I guess they saw something in me.

My blog.  My voice to get the word out about mental illness.  The big “S” word stigma is so prevalent in our society; so why not educate.  







olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 8/6/2007 3:53 PM (GMT -7)   
That was good writing, it was very encouraging.  I am sorry about the friends, a similar thing happened to me.  I was hospitalized and a bunch of people came to see me, but have't heard from them since.  I try not to let it drag me down, of course eveyone else has things to do too.
I am glad that your hubby supports you, it's hard to find people you can rely on these days.  Most people freak out when you say that you are bipolar.  Most people don't even know what it is, they are just not open minded about it.  Even when you are having a manic/depresiive mode, they refuse to accept it.
Best wishes on your blog, I hope more people will read it and understand bipolar better.  It is such a complicated ilness, and there is still a lot to be learned about it.
Moderator, Bipolar
Dx:  Bipolar 1, Anxiety-Panic Disorder
Support HealingWell:
"Don't let your yesterday, ruin your today"

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 8/6/2007 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for replying, and also for letting me even stating my blog.

Once again, it is not for profit. I really enjoy this forum and have to admit have been looking around at a few these past few days with major disappointment. So "lucky strike" in finding this forum. You seem to be open to ideas and your members respond with care and optimism. Kudos to you.

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