hospital visits are heartbreaking

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/13/2007 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
well I just got home from seeing my fiance' at the hospital and she was at an elevated state of mind. She told me that she isn't my fiance anymore and that she can't deal with me anymore. I know that she isn't all there but it still hurts a little to hear her speak to me that way. But I have a really thick skin now, and I know that one day hopefully soon she will be some what normal again so that I can continue to show her why she is my soulmate. She still won't take her mood stabilizers though. Is there any advice that anyone can give to try and convince her to take her meds? This is only day 4 and everyday is a different day. Today was a bad day though. She had to be injected through out the day to help calm her down. She thinks she is fine and doesn't belong there. But all of us know that it isn't our wonderful friend and my fiance' that is talking to us. Does it get any easier on a daily basis? Will the delusional state of mind go away soon? Should we continue to visit her? Or do we stay away and give her time to cope a little?  All help is greatly appreciated. Thanks,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 9/13/2007 10:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Even if you don't visit with her, go to the building, talk with the doctors/nurses, send her letters. If she will not take in your love today, tomorrow she has evidence of it. Your support is not for her sake, it is for you. It is a statement of your love.
I am untreated at this point. I would like to be, but none of the meds have worked for me yet. I react to them badly. I know that I am terrible to my husband, but he loves me, and even when I brought up divorce he just said, "when is your next appointment?" and never mentioned it again.
Be there for her, and she will know.
When you cannot stand, on whom do you lean?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 9/14/2007 4:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi hawaiian,

Welcome to HW.  I am sorry to hear you're having such a rough time.  Even though you have "a really thick skin now" I know this is painful for you, so my heart goes out to you.  I hope your fiance feels better soon.  I do think it's important for her to hear that she needs to take her meds...I guess just communicate with her doctors to try and get them to get through to her about that.  I would maybe also ask the doctors what they think about visiting, or giving some space, what christina said was also a great suggestion.

I can assure you that this will definitely pass, until then we are here for you.  Please let us know how everything goes.

Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--Currently not on meds for bp--

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 9/14/2007 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Welcome to the HW family, I am glad you found us. I am sorry you are going through a rough time. Things do get better, but there's no telling how long it will last. But it does get better. Hang in there and don't give up just yet. It's really hard to say what you should do about the situation. But as Christina and Mogli said, you should definetly ask the doctors about whether to visit or not. I hope things get well again soon, and please keep us updated.
Moderator, Bipolar
Dx:  Bipolar 1, Anxiety-Panic Disorder
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Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/14/2007 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   

What a hard thing to go through. As the others said -- there's no knowing how long it will take. It is ultimately up to her to cooperate with the doctors. (Hopefully her insurance will hold out.) Don't give up on her now while she needs you the most. Even if she doesn't want to see you, try dropping off a card or some token just to let her know that she's still on your mind and that you're still keeping up with her doctors and treatment. Later, when she's better, she'll know you didn't abandon her.

Good luck.
Ask me about my Bipolar Disorder!

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 9/14/2007 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all, just got back from tonights visit. Didn't go well for me, but the rest of the close friends and family got to see her. She didn't want to see me. She blames me for putting her in there. But the positive thing tonight was that she listened to everyone telling her to take her meds without getting aggitated. She is still delusional. And she is still struggling with everything in her head. But with all the reports from everyone that did get to see her it sounds like she is getting a little better. She is starting to realize that she doesn't belong there and that the people in there are way worse off than she is. So I guess that is good. But we will see tomorrow if she takes her meds and doesn't have to get them by injection. I wasn't able to make it to the morning visit so I gave a hand written love note to her mom to give to her. She read it and was about to cry and then her mind got side tracked and she said that she can't deal with this. As long as she read it that is all that matters to me. I will definitely be staying by her side through this whole thing. I can't imagine my life without her. And it really helps that our best friends live 4 doors down from us as well. And all the family is reading and trying to educate themselves so that when I go to work that there will someone there for her to talk to or to make sure that her day is going well. As far as work goes I have got 3 weeks off paid. So that is allot of stress off my shoulders. And if I need to take more time off then I can. I have a really great support family in the company I work for. I am just going to be there for her everyday. And I look forward to the day I can bring her home. I will keep you posted after I visit her tomorrow. Thanks all, I really appreciate the advice and support.
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