My partner is BP but is actually in the process of bieng re-diagnosed. He is charting his moods and so far we think he has been in a depressive state for about 2.5 months.
The typical signs are there; withdrawing from friends and family, feeling unworthy, sleeping a lot; hard to concentrate. In general just depressed.
I'm having a bit of a go ont he depression on my end because the he has been pushing me away for a while now. We have not broken off the relationship even though he has suggested now twice. My come back is the same each time, "Unitl we're level head adn we've truly given it a go, I don't want to throw in the towel". He feels guilty because he tells me continuously that he can't provide me what I need. But this has been said while he is experiencing his episode. Befor ethat, was positive about us, starting a family someday, excited about our relationship,e tc. Now he seems stoic really; emotionless about things.
He was offered a rare opportunity by going to Europe for a few days at absolutely no cost. The dates for this were the ame s dates I was due to visit him (we live in different states). I haven't seen him since the end of June 2007. He took the opportunity without thinking about me coming in that weekend.
I was hurt, and felt like crap about it, but I told him I was happy for him and hopefully it will help lift his episode, who knows. He is taking his anxiety medication with him to try and make sure nothing happens with an attack.
I guess I'm just feeling down but trying harrd to remember that I cannot take this personally. If I was just a friend without the feelings of being his partner/girlfriend, then I'd be excited about this happening to him, but I'm kind of not, since I feel like he isn't putting more priority on my time with him.
From reading threads on here and reading books on the disorder, I know he is not in his right frame of mind and will most likely pull stunts that are a bit hurtful. I guess I just need to time to get over this and let it go.
But feedback from those that can prsonally relate, I'd love to hear from you...Thanks :)
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."