So I've been taking my favourite medication for the past 3 weeks every night to get my sleep. And like it did years ago, Trazodone is helping me so much. I have been struggling with depressive symptoms and cycling etc...The depression has lifted quite a bit. I've had a couple of days that were bad, but all in all I am feeling better. And of course it feels great.
Now, the only problem is that Trazodone has the anit-depressant properties in it, and of course carries that risk of causing hypo manic states. I promised my pdoc I would tell him if this was happening. It is happening, but here's my thing...Everyone's mania, and hypomania are so different. I don't experience full manic states. My hypomania is pretty much awful if it goes on for too many days b/c my anxiety is so increased, so are the panic attacks. I am getting my sleep with the Trazodone, but still feel over energized and hyper. That's what I don't like about the hmania. It completely wears me out, the racing thoughts, speech...the anxiety. So if it goes on too much too long, I will be telling my pdoc, and I may consider a mood stabilizer. But I think the only one I would consider is Lamictal.
Since the Trazodone, my life is easier. My bf and I have been great, school is easier b/c I can get things done. But I know I have to be honest with my pdoc...I know in my mind that I can't be this high (mood) either.
I just wish so much that I could be stable. Honestly, I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I would give anything to feel balance. It's always one extreme or the other. I hate it.
And I don't want to start any meds b/c of the side effects. I have to feel well for school.
Anyway, Tuesday I meet with someone from the CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Assoc.) to see how I can find some therapy and have a worker there assigned to me to help me through the tough times.
Well, my anxiety is making me crazy right now. I'm going to go try to calm down. Ugh, yep, definitey have to talk to my pdoc...
By the way, I am not feeling this way everyday with the Trazodone. Thanks for reading guys, any thoughts would be appreciated. Take care.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
.5mg Clonazepam, 50mg Trazodone
--Currently not on meds for bp--