The issue with the schools is not an easy one to solve unfortunately. It is rooted in the way kids speak to each other. Even as friends, so much of how they speak to each other is fraught with negative input and verbiage. They think it is acceptable to "give each other s--t", as a sign of endearment - it is sick...they don't even hear themselves. The problem is, when they say the same things to other kids...but mean it negatively, and use those worse to hurt and harass – it does great damage because in truth…it is all vial. The culture among kids today is so low, and they don't connect the dots as to how disrespectful it is not only for themselves and friends...but how it tears down the fiber and standards across the board to ALL the kids lives around them. They are actually damaging them selves as much as anyone else…they just don’t see it.
My son would never be a threat to others, as he has the proper support, help, and attention to whatever his issues are, there is no violence or weapons around him in his world, and he knows what it is to be treated with dignity and respect - because he is at home (albeit the challenges of teenage-hood - LOL). But it is the child either suffering in silence, or turning his pain to rage that you must look out for. Clearly, this young man in Cleveland was a recipe for disaster. Between living with a 19 yr. old - gang involved brother who would teach him nothing but violence to problem solve, to the parental neglect that produced him living at this brother's to begin with, to the cruelty and lack of empathy to his circumstances from him peers, and the looking the other way by the school staff. While I appreciate that he was disciplined for fighting, where was the follow-up outside of that for him? Where was the counseling? Where were social services to intervene to say that living with a "gang involved brother" was not in the best interest of this boy? Where was the court to demand emotional assistance for this boy who was showing him self to be so violent at school? It is no wonder this occurred.
Plus, when you do connect the dots with these kids…it holds for a day, and then they go back to doing as they please. They know better, know what they mean with each other…good AND bad….and we are all just “stupid” adults trying to restrict their growth and freedom of expression. In their youthful ignorance they are tearing down the humanity in them all. And the images they see on TV, Movies, electronic games…etc.- desensitizes them to drop these standards lower and lower. And in many cases parents are so overwhelmed in life, they look the other way too, because they can’t control every word out of their child’s mouth or it would be a war zone – power struggle – 24/7 at home. People are ALREADY exhausted. The solution is not simple IMO; it would require an entire revision of how this discussion is dealt with in the schools. They need to have for a few years, almost “group therapy” type stuff in classes to
open the dialogue about
it. Like one period for every kid is this. They need to make speaking like this unpopular; they need to teach kids how to have respect for each other, and themselves. They need to do the same with the parents in groups and start TALKING
openly and telling the truth to each other. But there aren’t enough therapists to do a program like this for schools, and the schools wouldn’t have the budgets to pay for it, and people would not listen or take the time to do it. Currently, they talk about
the subject in school, they show movies about
it, and then they move on to something else. They say “0” tolerance, but they really don’t follow up that way. And because they can’t stop it, in the end, they many times blame the victim for being too sensitive, or having personal issues - as the cause of why they bringing this on themselves in some way.
OOOOPPPPSSSS…soap box over! Guess I have a lot to say on THIS subject!
As to me…thank you all for being so kind and concerned. I really am okay. It just is what I get to deal with. Some days just catch up to us all I think. We’re human, and we need a day or two to rest, hide, and then it is simply time to “get on with it” again; which I am doing….one foot in front of the other. The old saying…”this too shall pass”. And again, even non-BP’s deal with this. The difference simply may be that the feelings are provoked by external issues, vs. perhaps internal ones. Neither being better or worse…just what is. But we ALL have to cope with it one way or the other in a healthy responsible way regardless. And as I choose to work to be happy in my life as much as possible, I try to keep things in perspective. In spite of it all, I have much to smile about
, and I choose to try and focus on that. Hugs to you all and thank you for thinking about
Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 10/12/2007 12:43:25 PM (GMT-6)