Two Monday's ago, my gp told me to cut down the dosage of my Effexor from 225mgs to 150mgs because he thought that was causing the vertigo. I checked with my pdoc, she said she'd never heard of it, but to go ahead. My husband had said he thought I'd been getting a bit manic -- pressured speech, too many thoughts at once, a bit hyper, too many projects, etc. I told her that and she made an appointment with me right there an then for a week later.
One week later, last Monday, I bottomed out so fast and so hard, it was like nothing I've ever experienced before. My mood went down so steadily all week, and yet I stayed good and manic. But on Monday I started crying and couldn't stop -- great heaving, screaming sobs. I tried paging my therapist, but she wasn't answering (turns out her pager ran out of batteries,) and so finally I called my husband home. I was suicidal. I couldnt' go on. I couldn't do it any more. My family was better off without me. Yeah -- that fast. It was scary.
Luckily -- I had an appointment with the pdoc that day. Haha! (It's like she knew, or something.) She said "I've never seen you like this before," and added Abilify to my cocktail. She said if I didn't mellow out in a day or two she was going to put me in the hospital. I really wanted to go in the hospital. I really wanted a break from my life, but I took the Abilify 10 mgs, and she prescribed 3 Ativan a day. And I'm doing much, much better. It's like it never happened.
So it's been a weird week and I'm tired. It's like my brain has had a work out. I told the pdoc and a few of my family members (and my therapist when she called me back the next day) that I felt slow, sluggish, but they all said I sounded fine. The doc said it was because I wasn't manic anymore. That's the part people like, she said. My brain worked better (just a little) when it was manic (just a little).
Anyway, I'm away from home this weekend. I'll be checking in only once a day or so, so if I seem distant -- it's not that I don't love you! I do. And also that I'm a little slower than I was a week ago.
Incidentally, I haven't had any vertigo.
SerafenaCo-Moderator, Bipolar ForumAsk me about my Bipolar Disorder!
Post Edited (serafena) : 10/18/2007 9:19:24 PM (GMT-6)