Posted 11/3/2007 3:37 PM (GMT -7)
KG, Please let me say that while I am not a woman in your situation, as none of my family is in the military; my heart goes out to you, your husband and your kids. It seems PERFECTLY reasonable for you to be upset. While I support our men and women who are bravely a part of our military, I believe many are deployed that should not have been sent, such as the "none active duty" National Guard members. They should be kept here at home to help in our own country when needed for border protection, catastrophe help and keeping order (think moments like the Rodney King incident situation with the riots in L.A.), etc. And frankly, I think that we should have a better control on what is happening and had a better exit plan to bring everyone home by now. Plus, once someone has served a tour of duty, I think they should be done with being there unless THEY volunteer to go back. But...I won't get into my political views. The fact is, you have EVERY right to be upset, and I do not think anyone should deny you that.
As a mommy, with kids around the same age as yours, while it will be hard, kids ARE resilient. They will take their queue from you as to how upset, scared, worried, sad...etc. they should be. The “get it together part” that you mentioned should be definitely around them at all times. Keep your upset, fear, anger, worry...for your private moments. Plus, it seems to me that you will have PLENTY of time to deal with that AFTER he leaves again; So DON"T waste any time now on it. Enjoy and relish and honor your husband with the best ??? months of his life with laughter, love, passion, family and joy. Those are the memories you can build that he can take with him to keep him until you are together again when he comes home SAFE and SOUND...WHICH HE WILL.
As to the depression that sets in, be pro active like you did today by coming here and writing us, join a military spouse support group where it is a safe and accepted place to rage if you need to, see your doctor and take a mild anti-depressant medication if you know you will need it if you did before. There is NO shame in this, perfectly understandable in MY EYES!!!! Now, grant you, we are on the Bipolar sight, and perhaps you meant to be on the depression one. But I know that we all are caring people. My point to you is this, continue to reach out. Don't hide your feelings, be honest with them, but choose your moments to express them which will not taint your time with your husband, or put wedges into family relationships, that whether said or not, during times like this can run at a high octane level all around, and work to not be counter productive in how your want to raise your kids, or how this will or won't affect them. I know what you are facing is hard, and I can only share from my heart that in spirit, you are not alone. I hear your rightful upset. You have some hard months ahead. Face them with equal courage as your husband whenever possible. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Come vent WHENEVER you need. We are here. We are GOOD listeners. LFW