I’m too anxious to wait around and see if my original post that I was in the middle of writing to you is ever going to show up, so I am starting all over again. :o)
I’m sorry that I sounded upset in my reply post back to you. I was not upset with YOU, I was upset with the situation that you were going through and how it affected you and what you had to go through to get through it.
I have told you in the past that I have learned SO much from you about what it is like for spouses/partners/family, etc., have to go through living with someone who has bi-polar.
It made me more aware of how my actions/reactions/symptoms of b/p and how I deal with my bi-polar, affects my family. You brought a lot of attention to me in this area because of your stories that you share with us. I was hearing things that my husband/family were probably going through with me but hadn't shared with me and it really made me want to improve myself and be more sensitive to what I was putting them through. So I work very hard now at trying to control myself.
I was explaining your post last night to my husband after I was done reading it and applying to it. I asked him if he ever felt the same way you do? He shared with me that, YES he does understand. He said there are times that he just leaves me alone…when I am going through one of my moods… because it is better to just stay out of my way… because he knows too that he will cause more harm if he were to constantly but in and point things out to me. So he says he just, yeah, walks on eggshells sometimes and tries to stay out of my way until it subsides. He continued that if he felt it was getting out of control he would definitely bring it to my attention and make sure I get in to seeing my pdoc/therapist ASAP.
After reading your post and talking with my husband, it makes me feel so bad about how my bi-polar affects those around me and how THEY have to alter THEIR lifestyles to DEAL with me. It’s just doesn’t seem fair to me and really saddens me. I was upset at how you had to change your life to accommodate your husbands moodiness and it wasn’t until after talking with my husband about your post that it caused us to talk about things and hearing I put my hubby through the same thing at times.
So see LFW, I am still learning from you. And it is helping my husband and I to talk more about how my bi-polar affects HIM. (Such a nice change from everything always being about me). It helps me to really try to stay aware of how my actions affect those around me and to take responsibility for that.
So I am sure your sharing is not only helping me to learn, but others here as well, bi-polars to understand more what others around us have to go through living with us and also how those who have to live with us can find the support in knowing that they are not alone and be able to share their experiences too. We all learn from each other.
Thanks for your truthfulness. I hope everything works out well for you. I know it has to be triple the amount of stress and even more since you are dealing with not only a husband who has b/p but a son that has b/p and ADHD. You sure are working hard to give a lot of support around your home and here!!!! Plus you are not well yourself.
I wish you nothing but wellness and peace all the way around.
Crohns Disease-Remicade since 1999, Methotrexate
Fibromyalgia & Arthritis
Bipolar & Panic/Anxiety-Trileptal, Xanax, Trazadone, Wellbutrin