Going back on Meds

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 11/17/2007 7:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys,
I am sorry I've been so out of touch.  Things have spun completely out of control with my symptoms; I have no choice but to go back on meds.
I am not happy about this at all.  I can try to think positively about this all I want, but it doesn't change the facts.  The choice of meds really is extremely limited.  The side effects are going to be horrible, and in the past, every single bipolar medication I have tried has made my depression symptoms much worse.  I am not happy about this at all.  But this episode of being mixed and severly depressed has gone on for months, and in the last month it has become down right risky.
I cannot continue like this.  So when I see my pdoc Monday, I will let him know what med I am going to try first.  I have to research this weekend.  eyes This is not what I wanted.  But, my relationship can't survive if things continue like this.  We have suffered so much since things have gotten so bad.  I have been so fearful that my bf is going to feel he can't live like this any longer.  He's trying so hard to be supportive but the symptoms have become so powerful that both of us can barely cope.
I have been so scared the last two weeks; knowing that I have to go back on meds; fearing that I may lose the person I love the most.  And since the symptoms have become so severe, I've not been able to cope like I usually try to do.  That's how I know things are serious.  I am always trying to do something to work myself through it, but lately, those things aren't even possible.  The depression has been absolutely crippling; and the short times I feel better or hmanic, I crash harder than I normally do.
Anyway, I am thinking of all of you.  I will try to be hopeful that I will feel better soon.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
.5mg Clonazepam, 50mg Trazodone
--Currently not on meds for bp--

Ellie 1
Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 11/17/2007 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there Mogs.  I was almost exactly where you are last year.  While you may have to deal with a few side effects, perhaps they will be short lived.  I had terrible experiences with meds until just recently.  I finally found something that worked, and hope that you do too.  Just know that it can be done. 

Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
You just have to accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. 

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 11/17/2007 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   

I just wanted to wish you the best in finding the right meds. I know you have limited choices in meds, and I hope you find one that doesn't have too much side effects. I've had bad experiences with medications and understand how you feel completely. Hang in there.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
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"Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement."

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 11/17/2007 2:08 PM (GMT -7)   


You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please go easy on yourself, as you see, your courage and determination to be well are so admirable! You recongnize your need to be on meds, despite the side effects. You have tried so hard for so long and you are so strong....but even the strongest among us need help sometimes, and this will be the best thing for your life and your relationship. Although you are scared, although you are mad, you are making a SMART decision. BRAVO! You should be so proud of yourself right now. I hope and pray you feel some relief as soon as possible. Stay Strong! Keep on writing...keep us posted....we are here for you!


Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/18/2007 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Be strong Mogli. We are thinking of you. You can do it! The meds aren't forever, you can take it. Do you what you have to to give your poor body a break.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 11/18/2007 9:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogs, did you talk to him about the trileptal w/ an anti-depressant combination? I know you are doing a lot of research, but please also be open to the doctors input and suggestions too. If you read ANY drug on paper it can be scary - an in many cases not look unappealing as the right choice to try. But these doctors who are specialists (IF they are REALLY good), will be highly versed in all the medications out there for this (old and new alike) and what is good for them to combine. I know you have been down this road before, but everyday new meds come, new combinations are found. So...be patient, be brave, and trust in your doctor to be the quarterback to your team. He wants this to be successful for you too. Really he does. Make sure you set it up that if something doesn't feel right, or you have a question, you are going to call and not wait until the next appointment. Once he tells you he is fine with that, you may feel better and calm down a bit and be more willing to take this step by step. BREATHE...YOGA...WORK OUT....BREATHE....surround yourself with as much positive and happy as you can. You will be successful this time if you stay VERY methodical. HUGS...I'm rooting for you! LFW
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