today has been a mess,,,,i feel so rejected and ,,,,well.....depressed,,,,as stated in my previous posts my wife is BPII,,,her meds werent cutting it,,they upped the mg's and she said she doesnt feel like bursting out in tears but is still moody. shes been down because of staying home with our young son and cant really handle (stresses her out)marriage or motherhood.anyway,,the last 3 days shes been less moody and we've been talking. She actually moved her appointment to see her doc up to this friday. She said,"what do you want me to tell my doc",,,she thinks the meds are working,,i think they are helping,,but not all there...She said she made the appointment because i wanted her too. She said she feels bad for hurting me but doesnt know what to say. she stated that she cares for me but would be fine if we just never were intimate again. what confuses me,,,,when i look at her on the surface,,,she seems so,,,well,,"normal",,,at least talking today,,,,compared to last weeks moodiness,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but when i look at her previous behavior,,it seems so similiar to 2003 when she had a horrible cycle that led to her diagnosis(crying/hated her life/severe disdain from me/hated me.......),,,
i told her to me it seems like she is in the beginning of a cycle like 2003 but the difference is the meds that shes on is keeping her afloat..
i realize its hard to get the whole story in text,,,but am i losing it,,,or should i go with my gut,,,just lost and confused...