i feel like am losing control.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 130
   Posted 11/29/2007 12:41 PM (GMT -7)   
i came out of a severe long long depression but a few months ago i started doing ok.for a short while.then a few weeks ago depression kicked back in.getting worse over the last few weeks.i have always stoped  and started my meds tried coming of them a while ago.failed.ive tried numerous times ove the years never succeded.went back on them recently started doing good but not now.stopped them few days ago.i was taking lamical serquel valporate.my family girlfriend have no idea i have.there know depression back.its that bad i cant hide the symtoms.the withdrawel symtoms are starting to kick in.i know everyday i go without restarting them is going to cause more problems.its a 11 years tommorow when my mom died.although if my sister had not said anything i would have forgot.but that dosnt bother me.i am starting to get bizzere thoughts witch are frigtening me.late last year i dissapeared got in trouble was hospilized done somthing silly in hospital.am thinking of leaving again i know a little while ago i would not be thinking like this.if am honest i should tell someone but i probaly wont.its as if theres still part of me thats in control but as time goes on that will go.i do not want to end up in hospital.i feel like jumping on a train go anywhere and take it from there.its crazy i dont know why i want to do that even thinking about it.but i know that i can do it because i have just got up and left before.i always seem to do it when i get in this state.i have numerous thoughts going through my head.last night i thought someone was talking to me i dont know if i was dreaming or not.

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 11/29/2007 8:23 PM (GMT -7)   

I am sorry that your depression has returned again. I totally understand, the mania I can deal with, it's the depression that messes me up. I am also sorry that your meds are not working out for you yet again. I hate withdrawl symptoms too, they are a terrible thing to go through, hang in there whatever you decide. I know what you mean about the bizarre thoughts or the desire to run away, I used to get them all the time. Especially when I was either severely depressed or I was manic, never in between. You should try to talk to a doctor, or someone that can help you at the soonest possible time. I am not sure of the system in the UK, but you might be able to get something done. You can't suffer in silence, it has been going on for too long.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
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