Welcome to the forum. Bipolar is a sneaky devil, isn't she? I'm so sorry to hear about what a hard time you've been having but glad that you've been feeling better now that you're on medication that helps and going to the gym. Wish I could get it together to go, because I know it really helps.
This is a great place to vent, so no need to apologize for rambling. That's what we're all about. I hope we can offer you a community a place to feel at ease among others who understand what you're going through.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare