Michelle & Everyone,
Michelle-Thanks so much for your post, and prayers. I really need them right now. I am seriously having one of the worst times I've had in a long time. My bf and I have been fighting all day, and I honestly cannot remember all those things we (HW) were all saying over the last week about how he loves me etc. I know he does; but I feel like I constantly disappoint him, meanwhile, I am proud of myself for all the efforts I have made over the past several days with all of these outings/social gatherings.
Today, he invited a friend over for New Years' ----without even asking me first! We have had this friend over here for the last 3 days in a row and to be honest, I didn't want him here tonight, again. I wanted to be alone with my bf-either that or go to the party that we were supposed to go to. It just seems that no matter what, we can't do any of the things that are going to be less stressful for me. He offers to do that, but if I went along with it, he would make it known the entire time how he hated what we were doing.
I don't know what to do anymore. I cannot wait to go to bed tonight and for all of this holiday stuff to finally, finally end. I am at the end of my rope; I am shaking so badly, my stomach hurts, I am having constant panic attacks. I've never felt so bad physically from stress. I cannot even believe any of this.
There was nothing I could do you guys. If I said to my bf that I needed to be alone tonight with him, and we ended up doing that-it would be so miserable-he would make me feel so horrible about it. I have to go through with this tonight. I am so upset right now. I think I'll be checking in on HW for some comfort tonight, so if anyone isn't busy and wants to post, it would be much appreciated. I'll probably come and vent more as well. It is the only thing that is helping me right now.
Michelle-in answer to your question about school-the thought of going back to school while I am so absolutely stressed out is scaring me right now. I need more time off to relax. I have not relaxed almost the entire time that I have been off. That is really bothering me. I am so proud of you for looking for a job, and keeping praying that you find one soon. Thank you so much for sharing the story about your bunny to me; it really made me smile. I hope you have a good night tonight, just relax, like I said, things are going to definitely get better for you.
To all of my dear HW family-Happy New Year and I hope you all have a wonderful night & much healing for 2008.