You are right smack in the middle of an emotional roller coaster, and it may take a little more time before the ups and downs are a little less....and even more time to be on even tracks again. And you know what? you are NORMAL. I think all of us can agree that there is just so much going on right now, that sometimes you may not know which end is up. And please don't allow guilt to creep into the mix..there is too much else to think about
and process. Yes, you got great news about
not having known genetic markers (remember this field is in its infancy, and they can only test us for what they know is out there. My guess is they will discover BRCA 3, 4, etc in the coming years). You crossed one hurdle but as Lauri said, you now have to refocus on the major interruption....and don't feel like you need to explain or rationalize to anyone.
People on the other side will think they are being helpful when they offer words of advice (my favorite one before chemo was "don't worry, your hair will grow back." True, but what about
the horror of facing it fall out?) They think they are trying to get you to just see the good side...hooray for a negative marker...but they don't get it....we do though. I think that those around us when we go through this just frankly don't know what to say, they mean well, but unless they walked in our shoes, it is hard to really get it. You may try sticking with those that only help your emotional state right now.... or try just smiling and thanking them for the "advice" and let it roll off....or try to educate them about
how it REALLY is....or you may find another way to cope.
Allow yourself to know that your feelings are normal, whatever they are...and you may have good and bad days for a long time, but they will get easier and easier as time goes on.
Hang in there!