I don't think anything can be simple when it comes to me anymore. Even my Onc agreed with me when I said * this is totally stupid, it makes no sense! This just isn't right* and he added * well, you have never been NORMAL.* in his lowered raspy voice. He is dumbfounded, as is everyone. He is determined to keep me going no matter what. He said * Don't you give up, b/c I am not about to give up on you. * So we are going to double team this crap. Not only will I remain on Aromasin, I am on Tamoxifen as well. This new BC is 60% ER/PR+. Where my other one was 6%. He did mumble about how he has not seen a case like this in his 25+ yrs as he was looking over the recent one of my bible sized charts. But on the bright side.....his office just got new chemo recliner chairs! They have massage and heat in them! Kind of makes the idea of chemo not so bad now if I need to do it. LOL I may go in there tomorrow when I get my port opened for my infusions and ask to use one for like 10 minutes. You have your own room, TV and VCR.....I may never want to leave! YEAH, RIGHT!
Also, I am in the process of switching insurance plans within the same insurance company. DH is now getting GM insurance instead of Delphi insurance since he switched to a GM owned company instead of a Delphi owned company that has GM employees. ( that they are trying to scare them into a stupid contract. Dh just said forget it and switched to the GM plant ) So I get to keep my Onc and OBGYN. I have to switch PCP's....no biggie, EXCEPT he needs to give me a referral to see the surgeon. BUT, I have not even seen this guy yet! And I have an appointment to see the surgeon on the 2nd. The new PCP said he would work with me and get that referral since my Onc called him and spoke to him about this stupid situation right now. He also has to give me referrals for seeing the rads Onc b/c they are no longer in my plan, but my insurance says that is continuing treatment, so that is ok. Not that I am not confused enough on my own, and I have to process all this crap too. Not to mention all the time changes they did today on my scans for tomorrow. I think I am supposed to be there at 10am now. They changed it 3-4 times. I just had DH remember it. I wasn't even about to try. I totally forgot about visiting my friend, Melissa, today. She called and asked if I was on my way. And I said yes, onmy way to the hospital to get things straightened out. And she said * Oh, I thought you were coming over today at 2pm? * BIG Dory moment. So I think...lol...I am going over there on Friday! I told her to call and remind me that morning.
AND Dh is depressed and taking a sick leave from work. He will still get paid 90%, so thankgoodness for that. It finally caught up to him and this recent crap didn't help. ( notice I use *crap* alot..... ) Too much change at once I think. His job is physically demanding, he builds the double cab GMC trucks. It's over an hour away and he feels like he won't be here for me and Kalia if something were to happen. His words were*I used to be a phone call and 10 minutes away.....now I am a phone call and about 90 minutes away.* I have no idea how to help. I just listen. But I am happy that he isn't too proud to see a therapist. Although he has to b/c of his job so he can get paid. So he doesn't feel like he caved. MEN! But look who's talking.....lol....atleast I can come here and vent just like I am doing now. I told him we need to get a punching bag. My FIL was surprised when I told him today that I just wanted to yell and beat the *crap* out of someone or something about a week ago.( I am over that now...thanks! LOL ) Usually I am not that violent when I talk to him about it. It was funny. He just kind of chuckled b/c he knew i was fine know and I am the one always trying to keep him calm and relaxed about his cancer.
Ladies I am going to stop here.....there is more to all this crap like surgery date...scan results and more waiting coming soon. I told Dh and FIL we just need to go to Vegas for a few days. And we may just do that.
*Just keep swimming* Dory....Finding Nemo