I totally understand your fear....when I did the testing, I met with the genetic counselor first. She answered all my questions related to the same issues. Rememeber, the counseling is just information and discussion, no test. The counselor could provide you the information that might change your mind and decide to do testing, or it might firm up your decision to not do it.
Frayda is right, with HIPAA out there now, it is hard to even get your own records! I paid out of pocket for my tests so that the results would not get to insurance at all...and when I tested negative, I submitted the claims and got it covered. But that could be another option...pay out of pocket to keep it private.
My genetic counseling was done at U of M, through the Cancer Center, but the genetic folks keep a totally separate record. Even my oncologist could not get to see my records, although it was in the same facility.
And even if, big IF, you tested positive, there is no guarantee your kids would inherit the gene. So your test results should have no impact on them. I would encourage you to meet with a counselor in the genetic risk area, and let her/him answer your questions. The worst that could happen is nothing...you can decide not to do the testing after meeting with the counselor. I waited 6 months to get tested after I did the counseling...
And it is OK if we disagree! I still like ya!