Sorry to hear about your Mom's recurrence, but we never know that we are "survivors" until we die of something else with this disease. "Only in the bone" is a good thing, and the longer they can keep it that way, the better for your mom. Because of her er/pr+ status, her 15 years of being cancer-free, and her age, hormone therapy could be a really good way to go. Biophosphonates like Zometa are useful for bone mets. They help "fill in" the lesions from the cancer and make the bone stronger. There are several women here who have bone mets. One of our ladies has had treatment for mets to the sternum many years ago, and has been cancer-free for a number of years.
Lots of people (doctors and patients) prefer to look at state IV breast cancer as a "chronic" illness. I've heard it likened to diabetes; yes, it can eventually kill you, but with proper treatment, you can live many relatively healthy, happy years with it. And we have known lots of women who have done that. But statistically, this is not the average, as I'm sure you know from your research. I say this not in an attempt to discourage you. I'm just one of those people who believes that being prepared for the worst is not a bad thing. We all of us like to hope for, believe in, and expect the best possible outcome. But to me, facing the fact that I have a potential death sentence hanging over my head has made me appreciate each day I've had "above ground" all the more.
I can't really speak highly of alternative medicine. My best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years after I was, and her cancer later metastisized. Her oncologist was a Chinese gentleman who combined conventional medicine with the Chinese healing arts. So she had the conventional medicines, but he also gave her herbal remedies, acupuncture, etc... We lost her less than two years after the mets were diagnosed. I don't think the alternative medicines hurt. I just don't believe they helped. And the research is just not there to support it. That is just my opinion, and I will be the first to admit that my opinion is worth about what you paid for it!
As far as diet, I think it is a good thing to eat healthy. But I don't know of anyone who could attribute their demise to the occasional piece of cheesecake, either. And I don't think I would have survived chemo without milkshakes and Graeter's double chocolate ice cream! For a friend of ours, it was fried egg sandwiches. I don't recommend a steady diet of either, but my point is, sometimes, you eat what you can, and what is good for you is really no longer of much concern. My husband is an excellent cook and would make fantastic meals for our family (much better than I would have made!), and I would have to go to my room because I couldn't stand the smells, much less the tastes, of what he had prepared. Of course that was not every night, or even most nights. But when it did happen, someone would show up at my door with a milkshake in hand, and life was good!
Your mom's world has probably been turned upside down by this diagnosis, as has yours. It is terrific that she has such a supportive and motivated (daughter? son?) who wants to see her through this. Just check with her to see that the changes you want to make are changes she wants to make, as well. Quality of life... never underestimate the importance of quality of life! And only your mom can tell you what that is, for her!
Good luck to you both!
"There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker." --Charles Schulz