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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 1373
   Posted 4/7/2005 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
In a lot of discomfort.  I'm sore up in my pelvic area, and I bleed almost every day, at least a little, but not a lot.  I need to take meds.  I hold out, but I get reconvinced pretty frequently.  I do okay at work, as long as I don't think about how they're treating me too much (I'm totally being dissed by the management).  I've been checking in with the medical professionals in my life, and the bleeding and pain is likely going to happen until the hysterectomy, but they didn't say I had to rush it.  I'm going to wait until after Graduation (May 22) to have it, and hopefully I can wait until the pool opens and I can heal by the pool every day.  I don't think I'll make Cleveland this year. 
The hemmoroids went away, so I'm not going to the doc with the tools, I made a command decision there.   
I'm going to look at houses soon, too.  It will be my first, since Bob and I live above the shop in an apartment and Matthew has a room downstairs.  Not that I need the stress of buying a house and moving, but I have new financing that may not last.  I'm going to consider this a positive.
I just got the feedback for the corrections I made on the dissertation.  It just needs about fifteen minutes more of work and it's absolutely done and can be submitted to the library.  Every hurdle seemed insurmountable during this, from the proposal, to the first subect I tested, to the corrections.  Each of these steps was a growth experience, one that I never thought I'd make it through.  It's funny, that scared me, fearing I wouldn't accomplish it.  The cancer, and the later complications, those things were less scary to me because my worth wasn't being tested, and I knew God would take care of me.  I didn't have the same faith for the dissertation.  I'm so glad I did this for myself.  When I wear the cap and gown, I'll be so validated.  It really takes something away that my "bosses" don't value what I've done and actually try to cut me down.  Thank goodness my colleagues are supportive and helpful. 
When I think of all the support I've gotten from you, my colleages, my family, and (at times) my DH, I get very misty.  There were times when you got me through it.  I have a message from MK and Jo-ann on my cellular that I just won't erase, from when the complication first happened, and I just listen to it once in a while.  I'm a little low now, I wish I was intact, I don't feel intact, physically, but at least I have things to look at in my life that are so positive that they can't help but help.
To the new ladies, I'm sorry I haven't been able to look as hard at the posts as I did in the past.  I'm having a hard time, and am having trouble finding the resources to help out.  I'll get back, I promise.  Lord, Please Just Let me just get through this
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius


Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 4/7/2005 11:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Dr Ellen
I just have to respond to this heartfelt post. YOU ARE SIMPLY AMAZING and don't ever forget it!
o.k. you are feeling fragile right now, but you have every reason to feel that way. Don't apologise for this.
I do hope you enjoy your graduation day. I just can't believe how you have managed to bcome a doctor and cope with the dreaded C word...
Love & many gentle hugs from down under

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 1294
   Posted 4/8/2005 5:26 AM (GMT -7)   

Sweet Ellen:

The Dear Lord is with you every step.  Just reach over and you will realize He has your hand. 

I will not make Cleveland this year either.  My summer plans are already starting to expand into fall. Our journey always seems to take the same direction and I pray we will always be in touch throughout our lives. 

I think the new house sounds good.  Energy sapping, that's true, but it can be a renewal of spirit.

As far as the management goes, you know those JOY-BUSTERS, some people just have to be in a negative state all the time.  Do not let them pull you in.  Get well and enjoy the sun and pool.  You are a good person Ellen and you desearve some joy and happiness in your life.  It is there, keeping searching for it, IT will hold up it's beautiful head and smile at you and you will be better.

Love and hugs to you friend,


 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 27:9

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 854
   Posted 4/9/2005 12:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, Ellen,

I'm feeling your discomfort clear over here. Know that you're in my prayers. Take it easy, my friend. Nothing is more important than your health right now. So kick back and try to take it easy till you feel better.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 700
   Posted 4/11/2005 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellen, you are one of the most amazing people I have met. You are stong, determined and brave. ok..we will throw fragile in there now but there's nothing wrong with that. We are survivors not robots! Take it easy, day by day and enjoy your accomplishments. You have come so far with so many obstacles. Hold your head high and smile at those boss's. They can't take anything away that you have accomplished. Sending hugs and I am so proud of you. Take care of yourself.

Sara Dearing
Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 955
   Posted 4/11/2005 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   

Hope that helped.

Love you girlfriend!

Hang in there sweetie.
^j^ ^j^ ^j^
"What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? It is like robbing the world of the sun"

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