In a lot of discomfort. I'm sore up in my pelvic area, and I bleed almost every day, at least a little, but not a lot. I need to take meds. I hold out, but I get reconvinced pretty frequently. I do okay at work, as long as I don't think about how they're treating me too much (I'm totally being dissed by the management). I've been checking in with the medical professionals in my life, and the bleeding and pain is likely going to happen until the hysterectomy, but they didn't say I had to rush it. I'm going to wait until after Graduation (May 22) to have it, and hopefully I can wait until the pool opens and I can heal by the pool every day. I don't think I'll make Cleveland this year.
The hemmoroids went away, so I'm not going to the doc with the tools, I made a command decision there.
I'm going to look at houses soon, too. It will be my first, since Bob and I live above the shop in an apartment and Matthew has a room downstairs. Not that I need the stress of buying a house and moving, but I have new financing that may not last. I'm going to consider this a positive.
I just got the feedback for the corrections I made on the dissertation. It just needs about fifteen minutes more of work and it's absolutely done and can be submitted to the library. Every hurdle seemed insurmountable during this, from the proposal, to the first subect I tested, to the corrections. Each of these steps was a growth experience, one that I never thought I'd make it through. It's funny, that scared me, fearing I wouldn't accomplish it. The cancer, and the later complications, those things were less scary to me because my worth wasn't being tested, and I knew God would take care of me. I didn't have the same faith for the dissertation. I'm so glad I did this for myself. When I wear the cap and gown, I'll be so validated. It really takes something away that my "bosses" don't value what I've done and actually try to cut me down. Thank goodness my colleagues are supportive and helpful.
When I think of all the support I've gotten from you, my colleages, my family, and (at times) my DH, I get very misty. There were times when you got me through it. I have a message from MK and Jo-ann on my cellular that I just won't erase, from when the complication first happened, and I just listen to it once in a while. I'm a little low now, I wish I was intact, I don't feel intact, physically, but at least I have things to look at in my life that are so positive that they can't help but help.
To the new ladies, I'm sorry I haven't been able to look as hard at the posts as I did in the past. I'm having a hard time, and am having trouble finding the resources to help out. I'll get back, I promise. Lord, Please Just Let me just get through this