I was dx in Feb 2001, and my cancer was very similar to yours... Stage IIB (4.5 cm tumor) 5 of 49 lymph nodes involved, grade 3, her2neu 3+++ , er-/pr-. They thought mine may have been inflammatory bc (my aunt was dx in 1998 with same bc) but they weren't sure because I didn't have the skin involvement. I have surgery first (bilateral mastect.) and then 3 rounds of A/C, 3 rounds of FEC, 4 rounds of taxotere, and 1 year of Herceptin. It took almost a year to complete my treatment. But happy to say, so far I am cancer-free, and my aunt just celebrated 6 years! Please know that there is hope, even for the extra-bad-a** inflammatory bc. There is a great website called www.ibcsupport.org for those with inflammatory bc. There is much to be hopeful about, especially with Herceptin... did you see the recent article on it? let me find the link....
This is very promising news for those of us who are er- and can't take tamoxifen!
Please know that you can find lots of support here and on the ibcsupport.org site; the dx of inflammatory is NOT a death sentence, it just means you need some extra chemo.... I had a friend tell me once that she was told that high-grade cancers can respond BETTER to chemo that slow-growing, resistant ones. I don't know if that's true, but I like to think it is.
Hang in there Karla.... ((((HUG)))) all is definitely not lost. Keep your chin up and fight!
"It's been worth everything I've been through,
To do what I do"
To Do What I Do -Alan Jackson, 2004