I asked "In other words, it the cancer returns, I am going to die". Unfortunately, she confirmed this -- she has only a couple of exceptions
Excuseeeee meeeeee???? I don't care what kind of teaching hospital or onco group you are going to, this is totally uncalled for. No onco should give you that answer. I was told by Richard Bloch (H & R Block) years ago when my father was diagnosed w/ lung cancer, that the most important thing that you want in your onco is to find one that feels that he/she can help you. If that onco says that they can't help you or they aren't sure, then get up and slam the door in their face! If I were you, I would begin looking for another onco NOW! My onco has never lead me to believe that we can't beat this. She has said that she can't promise that it may not return somewhere else at another time but she can't promise that I won't walk out her door and get hit by a truck!
Once my original treatments were completed, I went back for checkups every 3 mos. At each visit, a group of blood tests were run, inclu the CEA and the 27/29. After 2 yrs, my CEA had gone from 12 to 29 in 3 mos. This was an indication that that there was some unhealthy activity somewhere. Yes, it was finally found and confirmed by a PET Scan but it wouldn't have been found that early w/out those blood tests
As for your family, to be honest I would NOT call them and ask for help anymore. The stress that it puts on you when they don't offer to help just isn't worth it. My family is the same way. I was the one that was always there for them when something needed to be done but I discovered that both my db and ds are nothing more than spoiled, rich individuals that I am much better off w/out in my life. I have a great group of friends, which includes my dd's, and if I need something done I have learned to just ask. It may not get done immediately but when they have time the job will be completed. Don't be afraid to go outside your family circle. I stopped calling my family and when they called me and asked why they hadn't heard from me, I told them. Straight forward and no words spared. What did I have to lose? Nothing but lots of stress.
Hang in there. Please let us know what you are going to do about this onco that you have. Feel free to come here and gripe anytime. We all do just that from time to time.