Carol, "clutter" was started to bring some laughter to the board. Sometimes the board starts being too sad and sometimes I need to let loose.
I remember my first clutter post. I had been cleaning out my closet and my late husband asked me what I was doing. He pointed out that I would probably never work again and I wasn't going to need all those suits. I told him that "I was getting rid of all of the double-breasted ones and keeping only the single-breasted ones".
I am sorry to hear that you are having problems trying to sleep. I was the same way when I was on chemo. I learned to just fall asleep when I could, day or night. As others have said, it will pass.
As for the dreams and/or nightmares, I am now 58 and the dreams I had at 48 and 49 will stay with me forever. How horrible they were and I imagine they are horrible for you. What I did find was that they let me realize what my fears were.
The reason we say that we are
open 24/7 is because of what you are going through. Sometimes there are others that are like you. I can remember having a post-fest that went on into the early hours with another breast friend.
We also use our board for life in general. I know that I have used the board instead of shooting a couple of people who need it.
Please, use this board whenever you need. There's a lot of love and understanding here.
A good friend will bail you out of jail...
but a true friend will be sitting
next to you saying,
"Dâmn... that was fun!".