Hooray, yesterday my WBC was up to 5.3!! I honestly felt like I was alive again. For 4 days I spent curled up on the couch afraid to move, afraid to scratch myself in fear of accidentally getting a cut... afraid of handling paper due to paper cuts! Afraid to pet my cat, afraid to do ANYTHING in fear I might get the smallest of cuts that would let in any germ that could kill me, as I had no WBC to fight it. I remember an episode of "House", where a young woman ended up dying because a staph infection got in through they tiniest of tears in the skin on her back from her bra hook. How many times have I had an annoyingly itchy bra hook, and reached around with my fingernails to scratch it?
It was horrible, I was afraid to move. And since I was trying desperately to get my WBC up, I ate tons of red meat... 3 times a day.... But on Friday I learned my WBC was up to 5.3, and my weight was up 5 1/2 pounds in just 4 days. I took a walk in the early evening with my gf who lives down the street, and I was SO GRATEFUL to be out of the house.
Also yesterday I had my appointment at a Brain Fitness Center, due to my chemo brain. I gave her a list of all the different ways my brain has messed up (that I posted about
a couple weeks ago I think), then she had me take a series of simple tests on the computer. Just looking at lists of words, then showing a bigger list of words and having to push a button when I recognized any words from the original list. Also doing something similar with pictures of various shapes, and then with colors and shapes. It took a little over an hour, and then I have a follow up with a doctor in a couple weeks for the assessment.
Oh, when I went in for my bloodwork in the morning, to my onc, I was only charged $11, instead of the $75 copay, so that was nice!
I am more than a little depressed overall, however. This weight gain is out of control. And our financial crisis is REAL. My onc, and the lady at the Brain Center yesterday, have both commented on my depression and feel I would benefit by seeing a therapist. Well, no sh!t, Sherlock. Sorry, but all I can think is "another $75". I would love to talk a couple times a week to a therapist! Even once a week. I just cannot add anymore to our bills.
A part of me thinks I could/should spend some time trying to find free help for poor people like me, but here is my weak-*** excuse.... I don't have the energy to search for help. LOL. It's kind of funny. Well, not really. I just feel so beaten down, emotionally and physically, over things that have been going on for years, not just by the cancer I've had for five months. about
3 weeks ago I was somehow energized to spend the whole day on the phone calling various cancer foundations, trying to find help, and every call just led to other calls. I have several pages of notes about
everyone I called and who they in turn told me to call. I ended up getting help for neulasta.... which I will no longer be getting now that I've had my last AC chemo treatment. Neulasta isn't given after Taxol treatments.
Aye, aye, aye..... I need to focus on the positives right now. My WBC is up. I can DO THINGS. I'm going to take a walk later today in my hood, and tomorrow I think I'll walk the causeway.
Best of health and positive thoughts to all reading.
Post Edited (exqualls) : 1/24/2017 8:56:11 AM (GMT-7)