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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 44
   Posted 1/2/2006 8:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone!

I haven't posted here in months but read it as much as I can...maybe once a week.
And I'm praying for all of us!

I'm VERY busy posting ...sheesh!...I mean working 40+ hours a week. It has been very draining for me.

I finished RADS in the first week of Dec. I had to take a week off from rads because of the major mess under my arm. It is still not all healed yet. I went for a month without wearing a bra at work...thank goodness it was getting cooler and I could layer and wear baggy stuff. I felt so ...well....uh...icky.

Now if I could just lose the 20 lbs I gained in chemo. :-)

I'm supposed to be taking Tamoxifen....I got 3 at Walmart....they had to order more. So two weeks later i remembered I was supposed to get them. I FINALLY remembered to do it...they put it back since it took me so long to come back! Actually, I'm afraid to take it. Today....I realized I better start....and now I can't remember where I put them. It must be here somewhere........but more hormone inbalance sounds pretty scary to me........what if I freak out?????

Just this week I started stressing over silly stuff.......
2 more months til my DX date anniversary..... what if it shows up somewhere else?
Wasn't I supposed to go back and have my port flushed? I forget.
Will my house ever be clean again? Was it ever before?????? Do some people wash dishes?
And what if I want to go swimming.....how do I hide my UGLY armpit???? Will it ever heal up?
When will my hair every stop sticking straight up and WHY isn't it curly????
I would NEVER have agreed to chemo if I knew it would be straight again..my goodness......and I had to color it. It came in white and gray ...actually silver. Now it is reddish blondish...of some kind...rather unusual.
And the big question......how do I get my bra to stop twisting to the right???????

Today I spent lots of money. I bought a leather rocker/recliner and rocker/glider for $1000 ...that was 1/2 price. And then an electric guitar and AMP for my boyfriend...$360 at a pawn shop.

I'll try to come back more often and post. I finally remembered my login name!

God bless you,

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 1/3/2006 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I love your post, Beth! 20lbs is great, I envy you! I've got 35 going here and no chemo! Just hormonal treatments and early chemical-induced menopause! Oh, and to tell you, my DH had cancer 2x and the second time they removed most of the upper portion of his arm (he even made the medical textbooks) and he hid under a shirt swimming the first year and after he saw himself in pix he decided he didn't care what all he looked like. WE ALL LOVE HIM THE SAME and probably even more for the scars and "war wounds" so don't ever feel like you have to hide. You have been through so much and given so much of yourself. Just be yourself now and forget what you "think" others might be thinking or saying. Enjoy each day!

As for the hair, I'm sorry you don't get the curlies! They can be fun, but, remembering the perm I did 3 weeks before my HS graduation, sometimes we just want to make THEM go away TOO! LOL.

Listen, my best to you and L&H,
Keep in touch with us, we love you!

The finger of God touches your life when you make a friend.
----Mary Dawson Hughes---

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 2921
   Posted 1/5/2006 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Beth, you sound stressed out but I actually got a couple of chuckles from your post. Retail therapy is always good. Wear that bathing suit and let your armpit tell everyone how you are a survivor, maybe you will save another woman's life by talking to her. I am sorry you have straight hair coming in. Keep pushing it up and put some curling wave stuff on it and try that. I used to use KeraCurl on my little girls, yay many years ago, but I have seen it in the drugstore lately. The ones who grew back curly said it didn't last. My daughter's hair came back beautifully highlighted and she insisted on coloring it. Now she has let it go natural and it is really beautiful. Hang out with us more often, we will try to help with the stress factor. Hugs MK

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