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Breast Cancer
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Posted 1/6/2020 7:11 AM (GMT -7)
Our 46 year old daughter was diagnosed a year ago and under went lumpectomy and 30 rounds of radiation. The breast cancer was described as stage 1. A follow up just before Christmas found another node, lump, whatever they are called, about .03 mm (I think that is right). Ten years ago I was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. Surgery, radiation, chemo, hormone therapy. During that time I know how I wanted folks to react. For the most part I did not like to talk about it with others. I kept it bottled up. Other than the prostate cancer forum.
She is scheduled for a double mastectomy.
My question: Should we just let her bring up the issue, or shall we encourage her to talk about it? She is a very independent person, and has a high pressure job, good money, but tons of stress. She never married. Gone through a ton of boyfriends, but none ever measured up.
Just wondered if anyone had any input how we should approach it.
Thanks,
Mr Bill
Posted 1/7/2020 9:12 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Mr. Bill, so sorry to read about your daughter's situation. I can't imagine getting this diagnosis twice.

It's really difficult to know which way to go with this. People are so different with how they handle things. Obviously your daughter is a very strong person. I think you sharing your story about PCa with her would open the door to a great discussion. Then you can ask her, how do you feel about things & how do want us as a family to help you. Give her a dad hug & tell her that you love her & you have her back.

A close friend of mine had a double mastectomy many years ago. Her mom & 4 other sisters the same thing. Each one handled it differently too. My friend at first talked openly about it, but as more time went by she grew tired of being asked about her cancer before anything else. She said I know people mean well, but after a while I got tired of hearing it.

I wish her best of luck & many prayers for a great recovery & outcome. Please update this if you have time.
Posted 1/9/2020 4:15 PM (GMT -7)
Straydog,
I certainly appreciate your input! Even though our daughters have grown and have a life of their own, they are still our "little girls." She is stubborn, outspoken, aggressive, etc. But she is still our pigtailed Jenny. I am still fighting aggressive PCa, and feel it makes it much more difficult for me to deal with her issues. It was much less difficult when it was me facing the beast. As you said, "people are so different with how they handle things." I only hope she will share her feelings. She keeps thing bottled up also. I will do my best to come back and update the forum as things progress.
Again, thank you for your help.
Mr Bill
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