Thank you Straydog. My Mothe does has social security and medicare, however to do the second opinion we need to know my Mothers medicare carrier and my sister is saying she lost that information and is waiting to get the information through social security which is going to take time. Half the stuff she says I do not believe, but my hands are tied as I have no way of finding any of this out. I called my Mother's Oncologist office, and they would not tell me anything. Her nurse told me either my Mother has to consent that I can discuss her medical information, which she is not of sound mind, or a power of attorney, and she told me my sister only has Guardianship, not power of attorney. So my sister lied to us when she said she has power of attorney.
So unless I have power of attorney, my hands are tied to do anything. furthermore, i am not able to obtain power of attorney because I am not capable of taking care of my Mother in the way someone with power of attorney does. I work two jobs just to make it on my own, and I live pay check to pay check on top of living 4 hours away.
this pains me and I feel tremendous guilt over it. Even though I know my Mother chose to take care of my sister years ago and forgo her own life and happiness, I still feel guilt over her choices. I have since I was a little girl when my father was drinking and abusive. I can barely even accept my Mother's diagnosis, and I can not even be there or have the means to take care of her. All I feel I can do at this point is pray to God.
I am so sorry to hear about
your parents Straydog, that had to have been devastating.
Nothing ever prepares you for this no matter how much you know eventually we will loose someone.
I am video calling my Mother,of course that is when my sister picks up the phone, and she looks great and is happy and chipper. It is still very hard for me accept.
Thank you for all of your advice and thoughts.