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Posted 4/1/2006 8:12 AM (GMT -7)
Hi all

 

I got my results of the CT that was done on Wednesday. My lymph nodes and the nodules have all grown. There is also new spots throughout both lungs. When I got to the DRs office yesterday she had already made an appointment for a bronkoskopy for me. They are going to go in and biopsy several of the spots before she decides on any more treatment. If you all remember in Oct I had a CT scan and the spots had all but dissapeared but that was during chemo, now that I have been done for 2 months they are back and larger. I'm scared and need lots of prayers please :-)   On another note I started my aromatose pills yesterday I hope I don't have bad sidde effects with them.

 

L&H

Bernadette

Posted 4/1/2006 8:56 AM (GMT -7)
Oh dear, Bernadette, I am sorry you got such news. Hopefully after the broncoscopy all will look brighter. Could they be scars? Wish you lived a little closer to the rest of us. Gail is way out there, maybe we need to have her get in touch with you? Keep us posted, keep up the good attitude. Hugs, MK

Posted 4/1/2006 9:46 AM (GMT -7)
Offering you hugs during this frightening time, Bern....sorry you are having to go through all this when you just got off the glow of being a rad grad.....time for the next part of this journey, and we'll be with you every step of the way.

L&H,
Lori

Posted 4/1/2006 12:20 PM (GMT -7)

Bernadette: I am so sorry that you got this news just when you should have been celebrating. Well, just take it one step at a time. Hopefully, it won't be anything more than scars, like MK said. If it is something else, then we are all here for you. I had a recurrance 2 yrs ago. Scared the crap out of me. But, as you know, in Jan, after 2 yrs of weekly treatments, I received an all clear. Just keep the faith. I know how difficult it is but remember, if the chemo got rid of them once, it can do it again.

Try and enjoy this weekend. We will be there w/ pink feathers floating all around you!

Hugs...Deb

 

Posted 4/1/2006 3:25 PM (GMT -7)
I was so sorry to read your post. What an awful feeling it is to hear that news. I can tell you after a routine chest x ray I was called back. It turned out to be all scar tissue. Even the broken ribs, I had before rads, showed up as trouble. Seems you get enough radiation on old broken ribs,they tend to start looking like a problem.  Lets hope they are being careful and its all ok. Best of luck, Joyce

How wonderful it would be to see Angels where there are only clouds. How sad it would be to see clouds where there are Angels.

 

 

Posted 4/1/2006 6:58 PM (GMT -7)

Bernadette:

So sorry about the news.  Hang in there.  I will have you in my prayers.

Hugs,

Candy

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

 

Posted 4/1/2006 7:25 PM (GMT -7)
Bernadette,

I'm so sorry the news wasn't better. Maybe on closer examination it won't be as bad as it first appears. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you move forward.

Hugs,

Julie

Do not go gentle into that goodnight,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

~Dylan Thomas

Posted 4/2/2006 7:21 AM (GMT -7)
Bernadette.  So sorry for the news.  I will be keeping you in my prayers.

VICKY
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Posted 4/2/2006 5:54 PM (GMT -7)
Bernadette- I am so sorry for this news for you... you are in my prayers tonite and i am praying that whatever chemo you go back on wipes those lungs clear once again.... big hugs
stefanie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's been worth everything I've been through,

 To do what I do"


                       To Do What I Do   -Alan Jackson, 2004

Posted 4/3/2006 6:20 AM (GMT -7)
Bernadette - You'll be in my prayers! I'm sorry to see you have to face more junk with this dreaded disease. I'm hopig scar tissue is all!!!!!

L&H,
Laure'
The finger of God touches your life when you make a friend.
----Mary Dawson Hughes---

Posted 4/3/2006 7:54 AM (GMT -7)
Oh Bernadette, I am so sorry to hear this! When is your broncoscopy? I will be crossing fingers and toes, and saying prayers for you. Do you need to "go under" for the procedure?

Hugs!!!
Chantry
There are no wrong turnings, only paths we did not know we were meant to take - Guy Gavriel Kay

Posted 4/3/2006 9:52 AM (GMT -7)
Bern, I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray for good news or a great healing treatment.

Please stay in touch.

Judy
Posted 4/3/2006 12:26 PM (GMT -7)
Bern: I am so sorry to hear that.. I know you must be scared to death now.. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope the best for you when they do the bronchoscope and bx's.. This is a terrible disease and makes me upset to hear whats happening to you now.. I am here for you wishing the best watch for the wave of the big pink feathers k!!! I will be waiting and wondering how it all went and how your doing k... Gosh that really makes me upset and mad... You have been a good friend to me and I hate knowing you have to go through more!!!!.. please share when you can, also know that I am here for you... Always willing to listen....GOOD LUCK and god bless you...skeeter1

Posted 4/3/2006 1:06 PM (GMT -7)
Bernadette, I'm sure you're very scared - I think it is so difficult to hear this news - I remember feeling so alone and terrified. I felt better when I received my first email from you and found all of the support on this site.

I wish I could be there to help you -- but know that I'm thinking of you and sending love and good thoughts all the way from Denver.

By the way my onco nurse told me there are so many different types of chemo for different treatments and that my treatment options depended on lots of stuff - that somehow made me feel better?!  Let's see what happens after your test. Please email me and let me know what's going on!

Love,

Donna

Posted 4/3/2006 8:45 PM (GMT -7)

Hi Everyone

The last couple of days have been tough, I have been thinking alot about what ifs. I dont want to do cemo again if possible. I'm so glad to have all of you to talk to. I tend to go into a shell when I have something serious to face, so I have not talked to my family and friends yet. I guess it is just wait and see time for me. I will keep you all posted.

 

L&H

Bernadette


Post Edited (Brnadebt) : 4/3/2006 9:52:34 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/4/2006 6:35 AM (GMT -7)

Bernadette: I understand your not discussing this w/ your family and friends. When I was rediagnosed, I did the same thing. I didn't want all of the telephone calls and drop in visits. Plus, I didn't want to believe it. I didn't tell anyone until all of the tests were run. The "What-if's" are what send you into the tailspin. Just remember that there are new treatments. When I knew that I had to go on chemo again, I just went to pieces. But it was a fairly easy chemo and I tolerated it well for 2 yrs. So, hang in there. Know that we are all praying and sending you lots of love and strength.

Come here and share w/ us.

Hugs..Deb

 

Posted 4/4/2006 9:05 AM (GMT -7)
Bernadette, I came home today to send you another note of well wishes. I, too, understand not telling friends and family, especially until you know what is going to happen. I also understand that you do not want to go through more chemo, but if this is what you must do, I believe that you will find the courage to do this. I want to hear how you are doing, and am sending good pink wishes and sparkle dust as well as prayers for you.

Come on now, you know that you want to meet everyone when we can get this meeting together this summer or fall!!!! I have to add you to my great board hero list and I really want to meet every one of you guys!!

Judy
Posted 4/4/2006 12:37 PM (GMT -7)
Bern:

 

I really hope you're having an easier time of it.  I remember when you said the last scan was so clean, I can't help but think it will be effective again.  I'm praying for ya, kid.  Keep on posting and know that all of us are behind you.  I hope it's a pork chop bone!!!!  (ASK THE VETS about PORK CHOP BONES!)

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

Ellen

Posted 4/5/2006 6:42 AM (GMT -7)

Bern,

Don't go into a shell k share with us when you can and want to... going into a shell will make your mind whirl... a whirling mind is hard to control... just makes you feel worse... Don't you just hate waiting!!!! How are you doing today?? I guess as it is with all of us its one day at a time.. I hope soon you find out the results and find out what is ahead for you.. I am here hoping the best for you... wish I could help you more but its just not in my control or yours.. but we made it through our first battle didn't we and I am sure if you have to go through anything else or more you will make it through it too... gosh let us help you every step of the way and know when ever you need us we are here 24/7!!! Hoping to hear from you soon... wanting to hear how things are going!!! Will check here whenever I can k... Your friend skeeter1

Posted 4/5/2006 5:31 PM (GMT -7)
Hi

I did not have my bronkoskopy today it was just a DR visit and they still have to mak ab appointment for the actual procedure, so here Iam waiting again. I just want it done so I will know where I stand. I will keep everyone posted.

L&H
Bernadette
 

 

Posted 4/5/2006 9:27 PM (GMT -7)
Oh Bernadette, I'm so sorry you are going through this, just when you finished your rads.  This is awful!  You are always in my thoughts and I will be waiting to hear the results of the bronchoscopy, whenever that will be.  Waiting is the worst part.  We are all here for you whenever you need us.  Don't give up and if chemo is what is recommended, I vote for doing it.  I know it would be hard, but it's better than the alternative.  Just my opinion.  I hope you don't have any side effects from your new drug.
L & H,

Kathy

Posted 4/6/2006 8:28 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Bernadette, just wondering about you and how you're holding up today...I definitely understand about the waiting thing. Strange as it seems I also remember not wanting to know at the same time, goofy but true.

I think it's hard not to go to that scary place in our mind -- you know the "what if" place -- I'm sending good thoughts your way hoping that today you will be able to find enough peace of mind to allow yourself to enjoy something that you might not have noticed these past few stressful days.

Your friend Donna.
Posted 4/7/2006 11:01 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Kathy & Donna

Thanks for the posts, I sure wish this was behind me but I have a DR visit on Monday and hopefully the Bronc will be on Wednesday. I HATE waiting but I have to so that is what I will do. I took today off I have been having some severe back and body pains. I wonder if it is from the Arimadex. Are either of you taking that?
Thanks again for always being there.

L&H
Bernadette
 

 

Posted 4/7/2006 12:35 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Bernadette, I don't know about Arimadex but I do know that a lot of the stuff I took had side effects that weren't mentioned because I had to take the drug regardless. It sucks! I think it's a good idea to take care of yourself and when you need to have a slow day then take one.

Aren't we goofy about work -- I sometimes laugh at myself - I'm in the generation that takes all of the responsibility stuff seriously...I hate to put anyone out in my office.

I have worked with younger people who take off when they have a headache. Don't know which is worse.

My latest is a serious infection from a tattooing on to finish off my reconstruction - been on IVs and taking more meds than a junky. See the dr today hopefully I'll be able to save my implant.

I'll check in with you on Monday but please let me know what's going on after you see your dr.

Hope you can have something to do to help take your mind off of all this for the weekend - maybe a movie or a walk -- is it spring where you are? It's going to be nice in Denver!

L&H
Donna
Posted 4/7/2006 1:25 PM (GMT -7)
Bernadette, sorry to hear that you have to go through waiting for more tests and results.  You are in my thoughts and prayers that you'll receive some favorable news. 

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