anxiety; my teenage daughter is having SEX !

 hi this is a probloem ive never seen here b4. my daughter began having sex with her boyfriend last year when she was 18. they have been dating for over 1 1/2 yrs. they are both now 19. i have talked to my daughter openly about sex, as was age appropriate, since she was very young. she has also been taught, as a christian, to wait until marriage, if at all possible. i am, however, a realist, so i also talked with her about making that decision when cool headed, not in the heat of the moment. i also asked her to please talk to me b4 she did have sex. even though i knew they are in love and care very deeply about each other. they go to school very far away from each other, but are able to visit and stay with each other when they are together. (college life sure has changed!). when she came to me and said they were planning to have sex, i was so caught off guard. bcause of the way she was raised, i felt sex was at least 2 or 3 yrs. away. when she talked to me about it i told her i thought she should wait, that i didnt approve, but that ultimately the decision was hers. i wanted to scream, "NO! DONT DO IT YET ! but i  didnt really think that would change anything except that she probably wouldnt talk to me ab out it anymore. however, she had done everything i had ever asked her to do. she was very mature about it. i bought her female birth control. she was supposed to be on the pill ( she was taking it sporadically, i found out later). but he did use a condom and i also bought her the plan b. i wanted her to be protected even though i didne approve. they are each others 1st so no worry about stds. my problem is i thought i had done everything right over the yrs. and now i feel like a failure. she feels as if she did wait and that its not a sin bcause they love each other. ive asked what would happen if she got pregnant and her 1st answer was shed probably get an abortion! shes been a right to lifer all her life. i ciouldnt believe it! recently she said if that happened her life would b over because she would have a baby to take care of. what i want to do is sit down with both of them and have an open and honest dicussion about all the possibilties and how they will feel if they dont stay together. its a gift she can only give once. i know if i do this she will be FURIOUS with me, but i feel that as a mother its my duty to make sure she is still making wise, well thought out decisions. what would you do? ps my daughter made her boyfriend tell his parents when they bcame sexually active. i thought was a mature act on her part. his parents are not religious and were not at all shocked.          

Definately think about a depo shot (since she is not good about taking a pill everyday) and condoms. Plan B is an excellent idea as well. But might I ask how old you were when you had her?

At some point in time she has to have enough space to make mistakes (granted it is a forever mistake) and frankly both of this "kids" are of age.  Not that I think that it is a great idea, but is judgement the path you really want to take?  It might help to speak with professional counselor to help with you with this conversation if you are really wanting to do it.

I have to admit I wish people could wait till they were able to support a child, but that is no longer really fesible. You also might want to post this in a/p so you get more support.