Dear Busymumof5, I cannot imagine how you have been coping thus far. I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia and only have 2 children and have lately found it nearly impossible to parent. My husband is very hands on and helpful. I have had to be very blunt and honest with him about what I need. This can be so uncomfortable because sometimes we feel they should see what we are going through and automatically jump in or because we feel we do not have a right to ask for help as our husbands work, too.
In your case, you need some help bigtime. Can you afford to hire someone to come to your house a few times a week and watch the kids for maybe 3-4 hours so you can rest/sleep? Do you have a therapist who could help you manage your anxiety?
I am so sorry you are going through this and with 2 disabled children, as well, it must add an even more overwhelming factor that I cannot even imagine.
My church has helped us over the years when I get really bad by bringing us home cooked meals. Even something that seems so small, helped us sooo much.
My heart goes out to you.