Posted 11/8/2005 10:37 PM (GMT -6)
I am a 26 year old male in Phoenix, Arizona with EBV/CFIDS. I was diagnosed with EBV (in which EBV, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia here in Phoenix, Arizona at the time was locally known as and was often referred to as "valley fever")shortly after my 18th, birthday after months of illness and cold symptoms through a blood test from a Ear/Nose & Throat Specialist. Then a few months later, was told Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Before I started to have any symptoms of CFS, I was a very active 17 year old with a full time job, very sociable and very active in various hobbies. I had no signs of depression, didn't have anxiety/panic attacks or any self-esteem issues. In a single day, I would go to work, working full-time, come home, run a few errands for my parents and still have enough time and strength for spending time with friends, being very sociable. By friends and family members, my energy and productiveness abilities was quite impressive to them and became reputably known that way. I was diagnosed at the age of 6 with ADHD and was prescribed Ritalin, Cylert, Prozac etc... None helped, was "bouncing off the walls" but continued on assorted meds anyway til' I was around 11 years old when I started showing signs of depression and shortly after my Doctor diagnosed me with Depression and Bi-Polar Disorder, then was prescribed anti-derpressants which most had terrible side-effects. I still would get outbursts of hyperness and still remained quite energetic. Around the age of 13, I was diagnosed with Manic depression, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks and as severely Agoraphobic. I was prescribed Clonidine, Klonipin, Diazepam, Wellbutrin(which was to blame for a suicide attempt at 13 and was hospitalized for), Xanax, Remeron, Celexa, Paxil, Aventyl, Trazodone(age 13 - 21 for sleep), Eskalith(Lithium) and a few others. At the age of 16, shortly before turning 17, I abruply stopped taking all meds that I was on except Trazodone and in days, I was feeling so great, energetic and very active. I had not felt as good or as happy to be alive after I stopped. I felt as if I had been cured! It was a miracle! Months later I started to become slowly ill. I would wake up coughing, sneezing, sore throat and feeling very fatigued for weeks at a time. All OTC cough and cold remedies weren't helping at all like they used to when I would come down with a cold which back then only lasted only a day or two. My Doctor would prescribe Pennicillin or Amoxicillin which did help but not for the fatigue. When I was first diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue, I didn't get sick anymore like i did at first but the fatigue was rather mild so after a while, I started getting used to being so tired all the time and would get up and go places. After a while, I just used to the fatigue. During the first 3 years, I came to terms with this illness and accepted the fact that theyr'e may never soon be a cure or treatment of this therefore, I still was rarely depressed or emotional, in fact Chronic Fatigue was hardly ever on my mind, I was pretty much always happy til' a few years ago when I would have mild, non-violent mood swings which was a concern for me so I approved for a few sliding scale visits to see a Resident Practitioner at a free health clinic here in Phoenix which did not help the mood swings. My mood swings got worse because the Practitioner only wanted to prescribe me Wellbutrin and Zoloft which there was plenty of free samples there. I explained to the Practitioner about Wellbutirn and the suicide attempt at 13 and even after seeing it in my chart, still only would prescribe Wellbutrin and I took it anyway for a few months. Wellbutrin made me very moody and very angry all the time and for no reason so I stopped taking it and when I went back for another appt. is when I was asked to try Zoloft. Zoloft did the same as Wellbutrin so I stopped that and the last 2 meds given to me was Doxepin and Lexapro which I didn't take. I gave up and was recently terminated from all services at the free clinic. As each year passes, the fatigue gets worse, harder to adjust to especially laying down in bed all the time gives me alot of time to think about what all i'm missing out on in this world by being restricted, frustrated because of Doctor's, worrying constantly about weight gain, and just frustrated about the neverending fatigue and now, all of a sudden here recently, i'm having constant physical pain in my back, neck, arms and legs. Right now it's to the point where I can't leave the house because of fatigue and now even a car ride is too painful to handle!! Frustration, Physical Fatigue and Chronic Pain is the cause for my depression, not the other way around like i've been told! "All In My Head"........I really wish it was that simple! Then I could at least take a break from this for a while! As for now, i have a current prescription and am taking Provigil for CFS but Provigil hasn't helped me at all! As for Depression vs. CFS, CFS does cause me to be depressed because of having CFS and is in no way at all, to me, the same as the diagnosed condition of Depression. Neither, in my opinion, is the cause of CFS and I absolutely refuse to ever believe it!!!!! They're both very different. I don't think Depression makes CFS worse and it sure the heck don't make it any better!!!!!