BlueD, I know how hard it is. What you are going through is a grieving process. We have to grieve our old lives & somehow come to terms with having an illness that has changed our lives completely. I remember being where you are, so angry that my life was different & I had lost control of it. Also, sad & afraid that I was always going to be this way. I then spent months trying to gain control again, pushing myself & being slapped down by this illness again & again. This is a hard process but let me tell you that you will get through it, you will find your way with being chronically ill. I just started reading a book called "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, a treatment guide", I am learning so much I didn't know & feel empowered with what I figured out on my own. I would recommend it to you. I downloaded it for only 2.99 from Amazon.
Take it one day at a time & pace yourself. If I don't feel well when I get up, I usually do some light housework but spend most of the day on the couch resting. On good days I get myself cleaned up & go out for awhile, do my shopping, get my mail, pick up prescriptions, etc. I try to live on those days even though they are fewer then my bad days. I hope you are doing better, I saw you have other illnesses as well, so hang in there. Post as often as you need to & vent all that you want. Believe me we understand. Soft & gentle hugs, Denise
Fibromyalgia-dx'd: 2006, ME/CFS-dx'd: 2006, Holt-Oram Syndrome dx'd 1975, reduced lung capacity dx'd 2009, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression (lifetime problem) IBS, neuropathy in hips
I have 4 children & 7 grandchildren.
As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it. Prov. 25:11