Posted 7/20/2013 5:52 PM (GMT -7)
eye, I know what you mean, I have "let" a lot of people go too. When we become ill, our whole lives change & then we are left to deal with it while being so sick & so tired & so depressed. My husband had a hard time dealing with it, he was very supportive but he was frustrated, living with someone who is chronically ill is hard for others & I know this & it is so sad. My husband died 3 & 1/2 years ago of a heart attack & that threw me into a major downward spiral, I was so sick & fatigued, I lived in bed. I, also, have always dealt with depression & I went into a very black place for a long time. It is only recently that I have felt like I have come through the major part of my mourning & am now feeling better. I have no doubt you are going through the same, mourning is mourning & no matter what, we have to go through it. I am so sorry your husband left you, it feels like such an abandonment but I hope you can get on with your life & maybe meet someone who "can" deal with it. I believe there are people who can, I think after my husband went through his mourning over our old lives, he would have stuck with me & would have been happy. It is only with my faith that I have made it to the acceptance that I have found. Nothing gets better by dwelling on the bad but look at the good we still have.
I miss my work so much, I loved my job working in a pharmacy. I hung on as long as I could but just couldn't do it anymore. I am much better not having to try to get up & work 8 to 10 hours a day. I am on Social Security disability, quite a blessing to get it. I would love to be able to do some kind of work but I have to be happy with just helping to take care of my grandchildren, a job I love.
It is wonderful that you are feeling so well physically. Don't overdo it though, keep on pacing yourself. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to that, I feel better so I use more energy then I have & then deal with it for days, lol. It is hard to not do all I want when I seem to be feeling so good, sad thing is, so good for me is sick for someone else. I have a tendency to forget that.
Many gentle hugs, Denise