Hi KCrispCat, my heart goes out to you. I totally understand what you are going through believe me. I have dealt with depression since I was 11, I am 65 now & have been ill with ME/CFS for about 10 years. My husband of 26 years died suddenly in late 2009. The fatigue I felt & the depression was all encompassing & I thought I wouldn't make it. Like you, I had my anti depressant increased & it helped some but not with the mourning. Have you thought about going to grief share, I have heard they are very helpful groups? I hope you are doing some counselling. I knew eventually the mourning would ease but it was hard until it did. You will get through this, you are strong, look at everything you have been through & you are still looking for answers.
As far as CFS goes, this is an illness that is dx'd by eliminating everything else that it possibly could be, so lots of blood tests & other tests. It took me a couple of years to get my dx, so don't expect a quick answer. Find a dr who knows about ME/CFS, ask when you make the appointment if you have to. I found it very frustrating to go in to see a new Dr & find out they thought it was all in my head because that is what they thought CFS was, all in my head. grrrr! Do you have CFS? I don't know but it is something you need to look into, along with other things as well. Take care of yourself & remember that you are in mourning & will be for a while longer. I stayed in bed a lot, I cried a lot & I prayed a lot. All I can say is that you will come through the mourning, be strong. Many soft & gentle hugs, Denise
Fibromyalgia-dx'd: 2006, ME/CFS-dx'd: 2006, Holt-Oram Syndrome dx'd 1975, reduced lung capacity dx'd 2009, nasal allergies, food allergies, depression (lifetime problem) IBS, neuropathy in hips
I have 4 children & 7 grandchildren.
As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it. Prov. 25:11