You are not alone!
I was in terrible romantic relationship ,well it was abusive ,rage filled and BP (unmedicated),turmoil filled.
I am out of it and feel filled with grief and lonely.
I hated the drama but love him immensely(guess it was one sided from my side as he did not change his behaviors)
Our personality is hard to change so we both went separate ways for better health of ourselves.
YOURS IS SIMILAR STORY,WE ARE UNIQUE but not alone .
Post here anytime ,WELCOME to the forum!!
For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.