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Bad karma? (how you felt about sick people before you were sick)

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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
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Orion82698
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2006
Posts : 423
Posted 11/1/2006 6:39 AM (GMT -8)
Yesterday, while bored at work, I did some searching on this website.  I found a post that my wife made almost over 3 years ago about CFS.  She was diagnosed with this 3 years ago, however I feel, and she feel's it was a mis-diagnosis.  She's better now, minue sinus issue which she's having surgery for here in December. 

My point in writing this is, back then... I use to tell her (my girlfriend at the time) that her fatigue and problems where in her head.  That she just needs to pull herself together and put her mind to it.  She went through serious depression and other health issue, that I don't even remember, until she told me.  I never paid attention to her, when all she needed was someone to listen and talk to.  She didn't spend much time on forums, so she kept most of this to herself.  This brought tears to my eyes as I read her post, because I remember her telling me about her diagnosis, and pushing it off like it was something in her head.  I use to joke with her, saying that when we marry, her insurance bills are going to kill us.  I use to tell her, that for every 20 doctor visits she has, I have 1.  I never knew what this felt like, until I was on the other side.

So... is this bad karma?  Am I being shown what it's like when people get sick?  Now I'm the one being told that it's in my head (Not from my wife, because she understands) but from friends and family.

I'm qurious to know how other feel about this.  How did you look at other who were sick?  Did you laugh at them?  Avoid them like they're a homeless person in a bad part of town?  Did you look at them and say "God... I'm so glad that's not me"?

I cannot say this now, because I'm not better, but I will tell you this when I'm better......   Being sick has changed my life.  It has made me love and respect my wife more.  It has made me a greater person, because I feel now what others have talked about for so long.  My problem is so small, and can be fixed, however others with MS, Lupus, CFS, Lyme, and many other illnesses that cannot be fixed buy a drug.... my heart goes out to them.

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Andrew59
New Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 17
Posted 11/1/2006 8:30 AM (GMT -8)
I don't know about bad karma. When I was married I lived in an area where there were a lot of elderly people. My wife would always get angry waiting for them to cross the street in front of us. I would always defend them, because I could see that it was taking all their effort just to walk.

Now I have Chronic Fatigue, and sometimes I am so sick I can hardly walk. And I would not be surprised to hear that my ex-wife is as healthy as can be.
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kie
New Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 17
Posted 11/1/2006 11:27 AM (GMT -8)
i've never looked at sick people in a negative way because i've always been sick to some extent my whole life with diffent things, including depression, like your wife. shortly after getting mono my CFS started and have been struggling with it for about 4 years now. my boyfriend in some ways is a lot like how u say u used to be with your wife. he and my dad seem to think a lot of it is all in my head but they do acknowledge that it is a real physical condition. my boyfriend also jokes about how when we're married that my medical expenses will kill him. i don't think you should think of it as karma. every journey in life is a lesson. my aunt used to be kind of mean and make me feel bad because i couldn't get up and go to school so easily and i was always sick. she thought i was faking it or exagerating. "everyone's tired in the morning, just deal with it like the rest of us!" it wasn't until a month before she passed away (due to breast cancer) that she came up to me, laid next to me and said "i am so sorry... i didn't understand. i get it now." it made me cry that it took something that extreme until she understood that my fatigue was more than just tiredness. i guess you can never really understand until you go through something similar yourself. don't be hard on yourself. life is an educational experience for us all.
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aquarias
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2006
Posts : 296
Posted 11/1/2006 11:51 AM (GMT -8)
Orion, could you share your wife's recovery story with us?  It would be so uplifting to hear that someone recovered. I know Cher claims she suffered with CFS and was bedridden for 2 years with it.  But she is obviously recovered now.  I am doing so much better but I still have a terrible icky sick feeling in my body.  I can't stand it!!  Any recovery stories would be great!! I think Cher should talk about it more!!

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sparker
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 114
Posted 11/1/2006 12:27 PM (GMT -8)
I'll admit that in the past, I've been less than understanding of others with prolonged illnesses - not in a negative way, but more in a "well go get yourself healed" way. I had incorrectly believed there is a diagnosis and cure for nearly everything (with the obvious exception of terminal illnesses), and I had never heard of CFS and other illnesses that defy simple diagnosis before until I started getting sick.

So.. I always though (wrongly) that it was just a matter of getting the right doctor and getting cured. Now, my eyes are wide open. It may still be sometimes a matter of finding the right doctor... but before even that, it's trying to find the energy and hope to continue looking long after the general practitioners have attributed the issues to depression or something else incorrectly.

.. and I'd too enjoy hearing your wife's story.

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Orion82698
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2006
Posts : 423
Posted 11/1/2006 12:34 PM (GMT -8)
Well, I'm affraid to say that even though her Infectious Disease doctor diagnosed her with his, she later found that with SSRI's, her fatigue went away.  For her, it was just states of depression that was causing her fatigue. 

Now, with that being said, I do believe she had it this past year (since July of 2005 till A few months ago).  She was dianosed with Mono in July of 2005.  The mono was gone 2 months later, but she was still very fatigued.  I don't think she was getting better because she was barely eating, studying all the time, plus the stress of bills and stuff.  She finally started feeling better a few months ago. 

She now has her energy back and can do cardio and weights, but her sinuses are killing her.  She has surgery on it 7 months ago, but it returned (deviated septum).  The doctor is now going to shave everything down and fix this once and for all (hopefully).  When she had the procedure done last time, she said she felt 100%, like a new person, but that only last for 1 month.  This time, the doctor said he's going to get way up there and remove the blockage.  We'll see. 

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