Hi all, I don't even know where to begin. I was just happy to find somewhere that I don't get demeaned or insulted for being so tired. Tired doesn't even cover it. I was diagnosed with EBV in Sept. My levels were around 3500, 2500 & 250. I was among that lucky 1% that also has their nervous system attacked. My physician put me on Valtrex (experimental & being researched at Miami or Florida State U) because EBV is in the herpes family and Strovite, a high dose vitamin. I did well and recovered much quicker than he thought especially considering the levels. At my appointment saturday he said that many with levels lower than mine have taken a year or two to recover. I was in college when I was at my worst, had to withdraw and had a very difficult time getting back into school. The nursing dept was wonderful and had everything set up for my re-entrance but the admissions office....I dislike the people there...let's just leave it there.
Currently I am paying for going back to school and I am exhausted, the shaking has started again and my brain will just shut off on me. I am a nursing major and they have been wonderful but the financial aide office and pheaa and fafsa have made it clear that if I don't complete 24 credits I will NOT receive any funding again. I am doing 18 cr (35 class hours) on campus, just finished one on-line course and have one more to do. I have started to relapse due to the stress and exposure to a common cold. I have hit that angry phase. I had to send my kids to stay with their dads because I can NOT do it on my own with my class schedule(I have 3 13 hr days), money is beyond the point that it sucks and my soon to be ex boyfriend just thinks I am "faking." He's in Japan and didn't see what this virus did to me. He wants that confident, joking, happy girlfriend back and I don't have time for that. I love him, I do but what am I to do from here. My overall virus happy days I don't remember much of. I don't remember from around 9/13 to sometime in the middle of Oct. I lost a total of 50 lbs, my body still shakes, I am tired, I couldn't speak, I had no emotional control and still just break into tears for no reason, I can't drink enough fluids, my head will still go blank and into a fog. I am doing okay in classes so far but 1/3 of last semesters class failed out while taking 12 credits and not fighting this fatigue and virus. I have to fear someone with a common cold because that is part of what made me backslide this week. How am I to avoid a virus in a hospital???
I guess I'm just looking for someone that has been there. I have absolutely amazing friends that have been supportive. It has actually be my family that thinks I'm "playing it." They don't live near by and when I seen them at Christmas the biggest words of encouragement I got was "you need to gain some weight." Ha...my ex husband has been more supportive. I am just tired and depressed and I feel useless. I hate being the reason my kids cry and I miss them so much. I also do inhome care with the elderly and I miss being able to go do extra for them, like taking them out to eat because they don't get out of the house or taking them to the grocery store, instead of their children doing it for them, so they can feel more independent. I guess...I miss being me....