Posted 3/30/2009 2:06 PM (GMT -6)
I signed up to this site to try to find some answers from others who use Provigil. I used it for about a year and then my wife did not care for the useage anymore. She did not believe me when I would tell her that I didnt get High on provigil. She also didnt like that there were new findings about addiction and provigil. The real end thaough came one night when I decided to stay up all night on a weekend. I was worried about work getting busy and her being ill, so for whatever reason I decided to stay up and try to write songs, for whatever reason, like it was my last hurrah. I dont think I was going to make it anyhow. But I was stupidly going to take another Provigil to see if I could watch the sun come up and watch a Friday night lights rerun. Stupid, I know, but Im an early person, my favorite time, then I was going to sack out all day, my way of avoiding the day and responsibilities. So she walks into the living room and right before she sees me Im fumbling the 200 mg pill, drop it, and with my foot, at the same time as I smile and say, "Hi", push it under the couch. Long story, yes, but to shorten... She is just like, what are you doing out here, whats going on, etc. etc. and Im all weirded out because Ive been up and its 3 am, and I now, want that Provigil to dissappear. So that was it for her, I had to give her my Provigil.
The thing is, for me personally, the things I try to predict for myself; such as staying up all night and watching the sun rise, and vegging out the next day, etc. These things rarely happen as you think they are going to, they never work out like you pictured. I would probably have ended up going into work, coming home, painting, and then crashing at night.
All right here is the predicament. Provigil worked very well for me. In the following ways:
alert, aware, in the moment, inspired, motivated, able to concentrate, much less worry, not nervous!, better at social events, not depressed! I did not feel high at all. I felt like doing productive, good things, and I felt like being and talking with people, especially my family.
Just because I was thinking about how it would be does not mean I am actually going to do it. So I screwed myself out of an extrememly beneficial medicine for me, because I stayed up late, and tried to hide the Provigil I had. Im so mad at myself. I should have just told my wife why I was up, and that I was going to take a Provigil. I could have proven to her that I could take that Provigil, and actually go right to sleep and not wake up until 8am! That is not an addictive, life ruining, health threatening drug, its like a wonder drug! Im pissed, I took something that was improving me, and therefore improving the life of the people I love, around me! It was good for them!
Now it has been about a month of no provigil, only Zoloft, with the exeption of a couple around the time my wife happened upon me looking like- every thing was normal, except its 3 AM. I had actually stopped on my own, due to weight (needed to gain), and just to try it and not have to be on pills. Things are not going well, and its definetly in my brain, or chemistry, You know how you just know certain things? My family is beautiful, my job is great, I have an outstanding life and it is full of opportunity.
I want to be there for my wife and daughter, and not battling the following things I wasnt battling while on Provigil:
DEPRESSION, Lack of inspiration, or motivation, nervous, dont want to do anything but go to work and come home and watch tv and nod off early, with about a half dozen episodes of "sleep paralyses" Anyone had those? My sleep is worse off Provigil than it was on, I have had a sinus infection for a freaking month it seems. I dont have the life, its like everything was in line in my mind, with the Provigil and the Zoloft.
I dont even think the Zoloft is doing anything. Does the combination make it effective?
I was going to ask, but I already know the answer- Provigil is a great anti depressant for me!!! me! Why has Provigil all of a sudden gotten a rap as an addicitive stimulant? The problem is, as it is with many drugs, the longer you take it, the less effective it becomes, so you have to take a little bit more.
Since I have been off it for so long, is the tolerance I built up lessened any appreciable amount?
I started Provigil because I was nodding off all the time, had sleep paralyses, and was not leading the type of life I wanted to, because I physically couldnt. I could never stay awake.
Can someone respond to some of this? IT seems like my people dont have the type of effectiveness I do from Provigil? Are people expecting too much feeling from it? Or is it the opposite, bad feelings?