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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 3/2/2007 10:56 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know what else to do here.  The sinus infection I had spread to my lungs and now into my jaw.  I am on a high dose antibiotic and pain med because it caused SEVERE pain in my jaw, gums and teeth.  The pain spreads to my head, neck and shoulder when the pain pill starts to wear off.  I called my ins provider today because the psychotic ***** doctor first called in an antibiotic scrip that they didn't cover and when the pharmacy faxed her back (6 or 7 times) telling her it wasn't covered she just kept sending the same one over and over.  Then she prescribed a decongestant with an antibi in it.  Just so happens that it had penecillian...which I am deathly allergic to!!!  This on top of the last time I went to see her put me over the edge as far as she is concerned.  I ended up in the ER at 4 this morning because the pain was so bad that I wanted to vomit.  This from someone who broke their nose and didn't know it until they did an x-ray for something else and ask when I had broken it...  I still don't know when I did it but I apparently have a really high pain threshold.  Not to mention 3 rounds of child birth with no pain meds or epidural...
I am just scared to death because I don't know how much more my body can take and I am afraid this infection is going to go septic. Professors are freaking because I am missing more classes (lawyer is handling it)  but I am still passing everything.  I am just getting to the point that I don't care and I am getting depressed because I also don't know how much more I can take emotionally and physically and still keep going each day.  I don't want to kill myself...I'm not suicidal or anything.  I just don't want to keep fighting everyone.  I want to just say FINE....I QUIT!!!  I feel like that is what they want me to do.  I am tired of being so exhausted and being sick and the meds making me even more ill.  I can't keep up with everything that everyone wants and of all the wierd things I just want to lay on the couch with my kids and fall asleep with them here.  I miss them and I can't have them here right now because I couldn't keep up with them.  My boyfriend is out of town for guards this weekend and is worried about me because I guess I am just white as a sheet and constantly in tears from the pain(and fear...just don't tell him that is part of the reason).  I want to just be his happy, optimistic, outgoing girlfriend.  I want to be ME and I don't want to be sick anymore.  Okay...I am gonna try to get some sleep.  I just needed some support.  Friends are in and out making sure that I am okay but at night they are sleeping and I don't want to be more of a bother to them anyway.  They have all been great and are offering to get groceries and do my laundry...  In that respect I am so very lucky.  Thank God for each and every one of them!!!  Thanks to each of you for listening / reading and support.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5403
   Posted 3/3/2007 8:30 AM (GMT -6)   
((((Hugs)))) Angie. I'm so sorry about how sick you are and how much pain you are in. Was the ER able to help with your pain at all? I hope it doesn't take too long for the antibiotic to kick in.

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Having a chronic illness is hard enough and then getting really sck on top of it can just be too much sometimes. I'm glad you have friends checking in on you. If you ever need support at night and not many people seem to be on the forum, you can always go to the HealingWell chat roon - there are always people on there at night. You can go to any of the rooms - you don't have to just go to the CFS chat room.

I hope you got some sleep last night and some relief from the pain. Take care
Diagnosis:  UCTD (lupus) 2006; Raynauds 2006; Sjogren's 2006; lupus symptoms began 2003; CFS 1991; Mono 1985
Meds:  Plaquenil 400mg; Prednisone 5-10mg; Tramadol 100mg 3-4x daily; Amitriptyline 10mg; Neurontin 300mg; Prevacid; Steriod Cream and Mouth Rinse for tongue and mouth ulcers; Hydrocodone 5/500 prn for severe pain; Restasis eye drops



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