Sounds like a breakthrough in your thinking sbar! You're getting the idea.
Right now, you can't let yourself get caught in the trap of looking at your life long-term. You CAN survive this, but you have to start with baby steps, one day, even one hour at a time. A big part of learning to deal with pain is training yourself to ignore it with various distractions. For me, getting lost in a good, long book does a world of good. If you can possibly lay down and do some controlled, relaxation breathing, you may even find that you can take a nap and sleep through some of the pain.
There's a whole lot of trial and error involved in getting your life back, so you might as well get started on it today. Have you noticed that you take shorter, faster, and shallow breaths when the pain is at its worst? That's when controlling your breathing becomes so very important. Breathing that way makes you tense your muscles and actually makes the pain worse in a vicious cycle that's difficult to break. If you can slow down your breathing, and consciously relax every part of your body, you may be surprised that your pain levels drop a couple of notches. These are the kinds of things that a pain psychologist can help you learn.
Think of learning how to live with this pain as your full-time job now. The time for mourning your past life is over. Now is the time for some real courage and action. Like I said before, pain relief doesn't just come in a bottle. So much involves what you control in your head. Somehow, you have to step back from looking at what you can't do, and start to figure out what you CAN do.
If you find yourself in whining mode with your family and friends, try to make a conscious effort to stop. They want to help, but they can't. My mother-in-law drove me crazy sending Get Well Soon cards every week for months after my last failed surgery. I had to have a heart-to-heart and tell her that it was part of my therapy not to focus on my illness, and she could help me by not sending me weekly reminders. I had to work to get people to stop seeing me as my illness, and to see me as the same person I've always been.
Yes, you've had a huge pile of doo-doo dropped on your head, but your life isn't over by a long shot. You've got some work to do, which I why I say to start looking at this as a full time job. You'll be surprised how quickly your life will improve with a few more tools in your pain toolbox.