Posted 2/4/2008 12:03 AM (GMT -6)
well, even though Iwont admit it to family (who seems tired of it already) and yes, I do pray and talk alot with my pastor, I start to think that if a animal is suffering, we do the humane thing and put them down. not to sound selfish but then pain is getting so bad and I am not getting any better and PHN is THERE forever, then I ask myself, what is the point? more drugs, more no sleep nights, more bills for false hope doctors no I really believe I have exhausted all options. I can find no good hope anywhere for PHN, nowhere. my time on this earth draws near but like I said, you people are very cool and brave. I'm jut tired of chasing a rainbow,

peace alll
gods speed
Posted 2/4/2008 8:05 AM (GMT -6)
Afterthought:
I really do want to thank everybody for taking the time to type out your suppert and share you stories. I again, would like to say I am sorry for the never ending poor me I have shown during my short time at this forum and after much thought last night have decided to stop asking why me. to be honest, I am tired of even hearing myself whine about it when after reading some stories that you all shared and relized that it could be alot worse. My kids are fine, I can walk, i can see and so on so it occured to me that it could be much much worse. yep, this hurts real bad and it has really messed up my life but I still have life and life brings hope. I need to pray more and count my blesssings more. Thanks all.
Posted 2/4/2008 10:28 AM (GMT -6)
Sounds like a breakthrough in your thinking sbar! You're getting the idea. :-)

Right now, you can't let yourself get caught in the trap of looking at your life long-term. You CAN survive this, but you have to start with baby steps, one day, even one hour at a time. A big part of learning to deal with pain is training yourself to ignore it with various distractions. For me, getting lost in a good, long book does a world of good. If you can possibly lay down and do some controlled, relaxation breathing, you may even find that you can take a nap and sleep through some of the pain.

There's a whole lot of trial and error involved in getting your life back, so you might as well get started on it today. Have you noticed that you take shorter, faster, and shallow breaths when the pain is at its worst? That's when controlling your breathing becomes so very important. Breathing that way makes you tense your muscles and actually makes the pain worse in a vicious cycle that's difficult to break. If you can slow down your breathing, and consciously relax every part of your body, you may be surprised that your pain levels drop a couple of notches. These are the kinds of things that a pain psychologist can help you learn.

Think of learning how to live with this pain as your full-time job now. The time for mourning your past life is over. Now is the time for some real courage and action. Like I said before, pain relief doesn't just come in a bottle. So much involves what you control in your head. Somehow, you have to step back from looking at what you can't do, and start to figure out what you CAN do.

If you find yourself in whining mode with your family and friends, try to make a conscious effort to stop. They want to help, but they can't. My mother-in-law drove me crazy sending Get Well Soon cards every week for months after my last failed surgery. I had to have a heart-to-heart and tell her that it was part of my therapy not to focus on my illness, and she could help me by not sending me weekly reminders. I had to work to get people to stop seeing me as my illness, and to see me as the same person I've always been.

Yes, you've had a huge pile of doo-doo dropped on your head, but your life isn't over by a long shot. You've got some work to do, which I why I say to start looking at this as a full time job. You'll be surprised how quickly your life will improve with a few more tools in your pain toolbox.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but still alive and living with my husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, 1 quaker parrot and 2 gold fish. 

Posted 2/4/2008 8:08 PM (GMT -6)
HI SBAR...HERE I AM JOAN FROM BROOLYN AND LET ME TELL YOU DON'T LET ANYBODY MESS WITH YOUR HEAD. Pain just is and as far as the shingles I take elavil to sleep...very little and I take lyrica for the whatever it is...burning skin, stabbing and spasms in my back.

I think engineers are very important ... after all who built the brooklyn bridge, the manhattan bridge and all those gosh wonderful buildings and car designs, trailers...I mean my goodness...are we suppose to live in caves?

I also use the lidoderm patch which is not narcotic which you put directly on your most sensitive spots where the shingles happened.

Was born with dislocation of the hip and kept telling the docs...if I lie in bed (I am 62 years old) and don't move a muscle...the osteoarthritis is not so bad. They tested me and thank god I came up with the ruematoid factor...finally saw the ruematologist and found out about mobic so now I am able to handle that problem better. Have another very painful condition with my feet but I use special inserts for that.

The main point is that I cannot handle darvon/codeine because I have IBS/constipation so DEM DE BREAKS.  O well depression, doesn't that just happen at some point in our fabulous lives????

You take care...you are not alone. eyes eyes eyes

Post Edited (Joan M) : 2/4/2008 6:13:05 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/5/2008 2:58 AM (GMT -6)
sbar....I hope you're having to deal with less pain today.I am able to give myself strength on my worst days by thinking about the things that I still have to do.Now that my kids are in their early 20's, it's likely I'll soon have grandkids that will need grandpa around to fuss over them. That sort of thing.TexasJens advice about controlled breathing has been right on the money for me too. I learned the technique at a pain management clinic about five years ago.I welcome every little bit of relief I can find and I'm still always looking for anything new.May God Bless You and take care..........Rod
Posted 2/5/2008 8:36 AM (GMT -6)
hi alll. well, another day of the battle against PHN. I went 160 miles yesterday to buy a TENs unit and took it for a test drive last night. I figure today I am going to try to wear it most of the day on a low setting. what a weird feeling. I dont know if its just in my head but it did seem to help some last night after wearing it for a hour. The little panic attacks, which I never had in my life before this came on a little this morning. I am trying to stay away from the poor me today bu it remains a battle. unclouded thought process is rare between the pain and drugs but your guys advice and input helps. I often wonder how the really old folks that get PHN cope. Taking into considertion the different degrees of how bad each case is. wish me luck, another day has arrived. thanks all
Posted 2/5/2008 10:52 AM (GMT -6)
Good job! Don't give up on the TNS unit too soon either. It's probably going to take a combination of various things to really get you moving again, so don't give up.

You mention you're getting panic attacks. A panic attack is just the normal "fight or flight" response run amok and your body is flooded with adrenaline. All dressed up for a fight and nobody to punch and nowhere to run. One way to deal with a panic is to first notice when one is coming on. As soon as you notice it, pay attention to how you're breathing. It's likely fast and shallow, and completely ineffective. That's why people experience chest pain and pass out for a short time. It's the body's way of regulating breathing to where it's supposed to be. Try to make an effort to sit up straight, slow your breathing down and get the air all the way down to the bottom of your lungs. Exhale slowly. If that doesn't help, breathing into a paper bag will knock that panic attack in the dirt. :-)
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but still alive and living with my husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, 1 quaker parrot and 2 gold fish. 

Posted 2/5/2008 9:26 PM (GMT -6)
SBar, I too wanted to welcome you to HW/ When I first found HW I had been dx'd with crohns disease and had undergone surgery to remove 12 inches of my small bowel. I never did well after the surgery and just became sicker. I finally found a gastro who took me on as a patient and he is a blessing. I was in denial that I had crohns even after surgery. Then a multitude of different problems came up and I ended up crashing. I too was sent to a physchologist who was familiar with auto-immune diseases and chronic pain. I was put on an antidepressant which really helped. My visits with the physchologist was extremely valuable. She explained to me why I was having the thoughts and feelings, very similar to yours. When something happens in our lives that alters our ability to carry on as usual whether its due to an illness or accident. The first thing that happens is we actually grieve for our old life. Believe me, I think everyone here can attest to that one.
 
She says we then have to learn to refocus as Texas Jen said. Its hard no doibt about. But, I made a promise to myself that I would not let chronic pain or chrons disease rule my life. I am 54 yrs old now and have a hell of a lot of life left in me. I had to have a pain pump implanted 2 yrs ago as I was having too many issues with oral meds. Its strange how we can feel like our lives have been snatched from us one minute seems like it takes forever to get it back. But, trust me you can get some sort of a life back. You mentioned you have children, they will always need their Dad no matter what. You can do it, you took the steps to come here and post. That proved right there you are much stronger than you think. Also, talk to your dr about maybe switching you to Neurotin to see if it will help better than the Lyrica. We do have to be very proactive with our care we get from our drs.
 
Anytime you need to vent, come here and do it, thats what we are here for. Susie

Posted 2/6/2008 3:44 PM (GMT -6)
hi sbar...believe you me...I am 62 years old and it ain't no fun...my shingles experience...but I chalk it all up. I don't know if you can dig where I am at but I just want a complete body transplant or an open portal to heaven. You take care and don't let anybody mess with your head...just tell them to refocus...you are doing your best...once you are in control of the pain...you will be able to reassert your career goals.

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