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Dreams may come true...

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Chronic Pain
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Chutz
Forum Moderator
Joined : Jan 2005
Posts : 9477
Posted 2/11/2008 10:41 AM (GMT -7)
If you could change just one thing in your life....what would that be?  Dreams are still free... After a few people have stated their 'dream wish' I'll share mine.

Chutzie

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PAlady
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2007
Posts : 6795
Posted 2/11/2008 12:11 PM (GMT -7)
I guess the obvious thing that comes to mind for me would certainly be to have my health back. To be honest, thinking about dreams is painful, as I realize how many wrong turns I made in my life, and no longer am able to fix. One thing I wish is that I wasn't so alone; that I at least had a loving, supportive spouse to go through life with, as many people on this board seem to have (although I know not all spouses are supportive!). Once one's life is limited by cp, it's hard to be social, and physical limits prevent me from doing things a partner might want. Maybe we need a match.com for those of us with chronic illnesses who are alone!
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Daisy77
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2008
Posts : 20
Posted 2/11/2008 1:29 PM (GMT -7)

I would also wish for a loving supportive friend or companion....seems like many of us are lonely!  Now I have a husband so don't get me wrong, he is a good man. It's just that he isn't here very much at all so I am always alone, and he is sooo out of touch with my suffering!  

Daisy

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Mochiah
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2007
Posts : 450
Posted 2/11/2008 4:11 PM (GMT -7)
I, too, will skip the obvious of my pain and bringing our troops home safely....

For myself, my wish would be to be able to build my dream home of a log cabin in a rather secluded area with a lake and lots of (friendly) wildlife.....and to never have to worry about how I am going to pay my bills again.
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ryand
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2007
Posts : 639
Posted 2/11/2008 5:49 PM (GMT -7)
My wish is that I would find joy in my every circumstance (yes, even the pain). That my pain would somehow give me opportunity to minister to and encourage someone who hurts more than I do. Just like you all have encouraged me just by being here, that I could be there for those who need me.

I look back over my life and can see clearly that the trials and tribulations along with the happinesses and celebrations have shaped me into the person that I am today. I hope that person is someone who always leaves joy and laughter in my wake. I hope that person is someone who can always find a way to live my life and not just endure it.

Finally... I wish that you could all know relief from your pain and that you will all wake up tomorrow with laughter on your lips and joy in your hearts.
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Chutz
Forum Moderator
Joined : Jan 2005
Posts : 9477
Posted 2/11/2008 6:53 PM (GMT -7)
This is turning into an amazing time of sharing. I'm going to hold back a little longer. You are all so much more 'interesting' than I am.

CHutzie
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mom24boys
New Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 9
Posted 2/11/2008 8:05 PM (GMT -7)
I would bring my mom back, she passed away Dec 27, 2007.  I would live with even more pain and no pain medication at all, if I could just have my mom back.  I miss her so much.

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Chutz
Forum Moderator
Joined : Jan 2005
Posts : 9477
Posted 2/11/2008 8:12 PM (GMT -7)
Hi mom...I totally understand and am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences for your loss. Your wish is close to mine. Now that this area has been opened up I'll share mine. I wish I had a chance to help my son deal with his depression so I would likely not have lost him to depression. This seems a selfish wish now but it's what was in my heart when I started this thread.

CHutzie
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hazelB
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2008
Posts : 114
Posted 2/12/2008 3:47 AM (GMT -7)
This is a really great thread. I think about my dreams and wishes everyday although no one has ever asked me what they are so its strange to actually write one down...
I wish I had any sort of social life, even if it was just one friend who wouldnt mind hanging around with someone in CP
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Chutz
Forum Moderator
Joined : Jan 2005
Posts : 9477
Posted 2/12/2008 7:06 AM (GMT -7)
It sure looks like we need to live closer together. We could easily take care of each other. And Gramps, I'd be proud to hold your hand and stand by you. The one thing I love about forums like this, and the internet, is we can see what others are on the inside instead of the outside. The broken bodies don't matter. It's the spirit I hope to keep alive in everyone.

Hugs,
Chutz
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Dictionary
Regular Member
Joined : Dec 2007
Posts : 31
Posted 2/12/2008 9:00 AM (GMT -7)
My wish would have to be for my son to be able to live independently and happy. My son has autism and my wife and I are very worried about the future. Thank you all for being so open, I feel like I am amongst friends here.
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PAlady
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2007
Posts : 6795
Posted 2/12/2008 10:32 AM (GMT -7)
I agree with Chutzie's post that we all need to live closer and care for one another in our pain and lonliness. And then we might not have as much of either.
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TDoern
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 495
Posted 2/12/2008 11:31 AM (GMT -7)
I wouldn't wish the pain away - because it might head for someone else, I've also learned by this pain, that I am so much stronger than I would have ever guessed. The pain hurts plenty, yes, BUT I feel it's made me a better person.
I wouldn't wish for money - because I've seen what it can do to people.
I already have an incredible husband - can't ask for more in that department.
We are mere days from moving into a home of our own (we've rented our entire seven years of marriage). That wish has been granted.
I wouldn't wish to live closer to family - because after a few weeks they drive you nuts.
I would wish to have all the troops home - but after what my husband told me when he returned from Iraq, they are needed there.

I guess I actually end up with two wishes...
One is to give birth to, or adopt a child. (I have fertility issues, that I can already feel God's hand helping with).
And lastly, this to me is the biggest, It's my answer whenever I'm ask what I want from life.
I hope that somehow, in some way, I change someone's life in a positive way.

When I pass I don't want to leave this world. I want the things I have said and done to live on, to know that I helped someone when they needed it most, or said the right thing when it was needed.
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hazelB
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2008
Posts : 114
Posted 2/12/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -7)
I wish you are able to share your love with a child when your ready also TOdoern. In whatever way you can. I am adopted and feel so grateful that someone loved me enough that they actually chose me. I think fertility issues in women is sometimes Gods way of insuring a special home for one of his special child. Then again...I'm bias!
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hazelB
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2008
Posts : 114
Posted 2/12/2008 1:21 PM (GMT -7)
Reading all of these wishes I feel a little less alone.
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Melanie50
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2005
Posts : 148
Posted 2/12/2008 3:02 PM (GMT -7)
I wish I could go back to the weekend of Sept 8th & 9th 2001.  My husband and I went away for two nights and my 20 year old daughter was involved in a drunk driving accident (she was the passenger) and is now a quadriplegic.  Maybe had I stayed in town that night she would have been more careful about drinking too much since she would know that I was at home when she had to come back that night.  If only . . .

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TexasJen
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2006
Posts : 649
Posted 2/12/2008 3:36 PM (GMT -7)

There isn't much lacking in my life.  I have a loving and supportive husband, plenty of friends, family nearby and since I could never conceive - we have our critters.  We did seriously look into adoption years ago, but honestly could not afford it.  There's a reason so many children are stuck in foster care, but I digress.

I'm happiest with a book or gardening tools in my hands.  We had perfect weather this past week and I made several short trips outside to tackle my numerous rose bushes.  Time to whack 'em down and feed 'em up for the March and April blooms.  Winter was so mild this year that most of them were still full and blooming, so I had to mentally shore myself up to properly prune them.  I'm hurting now, but was it ever worth it!  Nothing makes me happier when I feel awful than looking outside at my gardens.  If I can't get out, my piano is always waiting for me.

As for dreams, I'll approach that one along the lines of "what would you do if you won the lottery?"  LOL!  I don't need much for my own comfort, but not having to worry about our bills - whoa!  How nice would that be?  Then I'd turn to getting my entire family out of their debt and set up annuities for them.  After that, I'd spread the wealth among my favorite charities which are mostly animal-oriented.  I've got some friends and family who dream far bigger than I do and only need money to really get going with their businesses.  How much fun would it be to just hand over the money and say, "OK, now go out and make your dream come true.  My your dreams be fruitful and multiply!"  Ah well, we are just talking about dreams, right?  As my grandmother used to say, all it takes is filthy lucre..  :-)

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Melanie50
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2005
Posts : 148
Posted 2/12/2008 10:05 PM (GMT -7)
Thanks Gramps!  I have "if only-d" myself to death since that night.  I do believe, intellectually, that I couldn't have controlled the outcome even if I had not gone away but the mom in me still wishes for a different outcome that maybe I should have had some control over.  My heart broke that night and is still not recovered even though my daughter is alive, well, married and basically a happy young woman. 
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PAlady
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2007
Posts : 6795
Posted 2/12/2008 10:38 PM (GMT -7)
I think it's very human that you'd wish for a different outcome. Isn't it always the most difficult to accept that we can't control many things that happen in life - to ourselves, or to our loved ones. It's easy to know that in our heads, but to accept it in the heart....much bigger challenge. Perhaps the work of a lifetime. But your daughter sounds like she's an inspiration and you helped make her who she is. I know it won't be easy, but I hope your heart can find peace one day.
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Raven67
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2007
Posts : 155
Posted 2/12/2008 11:17 PM (GMT -7)

This is a great thread.

Hope you don't mind me posting, I'm usually on the Arthritis forum but i think due to the Chronic pain I have I would love to keep posting and reading here.

If I had one wish, it would be to be able to right all the wrongs in regards to my husbands death.  It is  7 years today that he committed suicide by jumping off a bridge that connects Ontario to New York State.  He became clinically depressed and everytime I tried to get him help ie; Doctors, Police, hospital and mental health association every door was slammed in my face.  To make a long story short, my two oldest children lost their father needlessly. They were 6 and 16 years old at the time.  It is tragic to me and i live with the pain and guilt everyday. Therefore my wish would be to change all of the what ifs.  Thank you for giving me the forum to say this.  it's been a long time.

 

Raven 

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Melanie50
Regular Member
Joined : Oct 2005
Posts : 148
Posted 2/12/2008 11:25 PM (GMT -7)
I'll change your "what if's" if you change my "if onlies"! I am so sorry for your loss. What pain you must deal with every day as well as your children!
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