First I want to clear up somethings I said in earlier in posts as I fear it is confusing for some.
I said I use anger in one post as a strong motivator and this is a personal thing for me,yes I can push myslef over my limits with anger and usually accomplish a great deal but and there always seems to be one of these, I most likely will pay dearly for that dance I had pushing those limits.
Now again I used the phrase I think in reference to Gramps reply when I claimed not to be able to do much good doing the things he does because I get so angry at the injustice of it all!
I am a firm believer that more wars have been won on stratedgy then anger and I just never was able to think stratedgy in throes of anger, I am one of those that rant and rave and spit all over myself not to mention the turning red in the face kinda thing that probably wouldnt go over well with most Congressman.
The folks who keep us as CPers are smart and to be able to beat them you have to be able to use stratedgy and be somewhat smarter then they are, I can see how Gramps wins wars, I really can as the passion for his goals shine thru.
Now with that being said and out of the way I can move on to other things.
Gramps i was lucky in my choice of which Congressman to use when I was trying to push "my dire need" issue with getting a hearing faster(already had waited 11 months for one) with no date set yet. I certainly chose one or at the very leats he had an aid that cared enough to follow thru since shortly after signing the release forms and forwarding them to his office I got a date set. That was advocating for my survival as I was sinking fast. I was trying to raise 4 kids on welfare that had a limit of 5 years and my limits were fast approaching their time. I had used them for a year or two way back when my oldest daughter was little and I was in college.
I had been forced when my workers comp money was gone to join once again the welfare roles,move into subsidized housing,apply for food stamps,and for the first time in my adult post educated life began a struggle just to feed us each month. I had no car since I couldnt afford insurance must less repair and upkeep. Using the city bus system was at times a battle unto itself, I had already had 3 knee surgeries and standing and waiting an hour for a bus or walking blocks to get to a bus stop was much more then I could do some days.
I lost my Mom and Dad both the year I became disabled and had a child born the same year as all tis and my first knee surgery that was a bust! I can remember sitting in the floor pulling the car seat up the hall to get my newborn from point A to point B since trying to carry her and use 2 crutches was not happening safely for either of us. Now add the fact my S.O. decided that my life was far too dramatic to suit him so he took a long trip out to the stoer one night and that was 10 years ago and I didnt see him again until child support court 4 years later when they finally found him hidding out in another state.
Please dont see this as a pity party as these were the early years that molded me into this I am today and taught me many of the things I know today that helps me help others so I honestly say it was a learning experience to struggle with all those programs and hurdles.
When I got hurt I was working 4 ten hour shifts,and those were night to boot,every weekend and holiday I could grab for the OT and so alot of pay were bonus hours and WC doesnt pay for any of that. It pays only for base wages and any medical person knows that we rake it in on the bonus shifts and hours not on wages or at least not back in the 90's,add insult to injury and I had just returned from maternity leave so my hours were not up to par yet. Had 2 funeral leaves as well in there somewhere that year.
I lost my behind drawing WC and yet they acted like I was enjoying the time off and the checks that came not so regularly as they always had some paperwork that didnt get it or didnt get filled.
The house I had bought 6 years earlier had very little equity in it and both the vehicles my loving S.O. left were far from being paid off. My mortgage payment was 2/3 of my entire WC check each month and I was NOT qualified for welfare as yet since I owned property and had income of sorts.
I was forced to accept their offer for settlement since th4e foreclosure was in the works the cars had long since been repo'd and we had no family support system since they had both passed away. I was looking at losing my kids to the state since I was going to be living at a shelter.
That settlement money,the part I ended up with after legal fee's and he got more then I did honestly,didnt even get us out of the hole and pay a deposit on an apartment since I had to have a very large one with 4 kids. It did buy an old clunker so we always had the option of living in it if worst came to worst, We decided to relocate and get a new start in another state and we spent a month camping out so we had money to do that,had to wait around to get the check in the mail for the settlement.
I am telling this not to get pity,not to gain your sympathy but to show how important the fight Gramps is fighting is to many of those 50-70 millions disabled folks out there. Gramps let me say I had no idea the numbers were that high and I know I used the word disabled when in fact I think you said CPers but in the end it is the same to me as pain is the most debilitating of diseases.
No one should have to be faced with losing their kids,not one Mother or Father should have to choice between meds and food on the table when this country spends billions on building and trying out new fighter jets each year only to scrap most of them! It is mind boggling just to think about.
My little kids and no others should ever have to stand by and watch everything they know and love be lost or sold to pay the rent or buy food or medicine so I can get out of bed to take care of them! Not one person in this great country of ours should ever have to spend years and every dime they have searching for a Doc who will treat their pain issues. Not one.
So as you can see Gramps and others I have a passion for this issue as well but somewhere along this circular road I couldnt lose the anger of it all,maybe I had loss too much already? I dont know but I do know how hard it is to convince those outside looking in so folks like Gramps who take on the battle have their work cut out for them and maybe he is right in saying that if each one of uses our voice and speaks up those voices in force will be heard loud and clear.
It takes a special kind of person who can say bring on the DEA,bring on your reprecussions for my actions as I will applaud them and use them to my advantage! I know those who have stood up and lost the battle against these fine agencies,it was too difficult to watch their loved ones suffer for their actions,those were the ones the folks went after knowing that was the weakness in all of us. Those we love and care about,we most have long since become immuned for ourselves.
My kids are all but grown now and I have only one left at home so maybe now that they cant touch me in that way I can learn with help from those like Gramps to use that anger and my knack for words and make a difference somewhere along the way? I dont know as I have become somewhat cynical in my way of thinking thru all of this and I certainly lost faith in a system that failed me and my kids time and time again. We survived only by the sheer grace of God and believing in the knowledge that he would never hand me more then I could balance and he evidently didnt!
Peace be to all of you here tonight.