and double it. this is perhaps the worst realizatioin that i have ever had. i've always had the philosophy that "this, too, shall pass." this time, my mantra wouldn't work.
i hurt for you, my friend. only those of us with "bone on bone" problems can even come close to understanding the wretchedness that this pain can take us to if we let it. the trick is not to let it. i often joke with people on HW that i'm a cynic because cynics are the only happy people in the world. if thigs go badly, as we suspect, we can say, "see, told you so." if things go well we can always say, "that's the exception that proves the case."
in adddition to cp i also have bi-polar disorder which sends me to a psychiatrist anyway. but I recommend VERY strongly that everyone with cp have a psychiatrist or at least a clinical psychologist as a part of their "healing team." there are bad times for all of us. that all the gods above and belo0w that we have this forum for support - and we don't even have to worry about the insurance aspects.
hope you at least got a smile, tammy.
i wish you all the goodness and healing that this universe has to offer.