fiancee left me because she didn't "want to be a nurse"

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 4/8/2008 11:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I thought that I found my true love. We were about 3 months from the wedding. WE had been together almost 3 years. I was working as a teacher, paying the bills while she was  getting her masters. Her dad was a very well of person that gave have spending money, payed for her car, act... I had just had my 14th right knee surgery. It was a right leg fusion. I had had my 14th surgery in 4 years. As sone as i recoved from the previous surgery another one was coming.  After the knee fusion, I was infected with a chronic MRSA ( super bug ) . The same day I found out the grime news, she told me that her dad would buy my share of the house and she kicked me out in 1 week. The money I was payed was 60% of what I oyed in medical bills. I prave that since she became married, that her spouse would not leave her god forbidd if she ever had a dibilitating disease.
You find a persons true color at times of adversity. If anyone else has been through similar situations, I would be grateful for advise on how you handled and or overcame the situation. cool

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9152
   Posted 4/9/2008 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Fieldgoal,

And welcome to the CP forum. You found out the hard way what she was made of, I guess. At least it was before the wedding and not after. When my hubby and I were dating was about the time my body was falling apart. I was around 40 and one diagnosis after another kept hitting. I was sure he's walk but he didn't. Instead of went to each doc appointment with me, learned all about the insulin I am now taking, etc. He loved ME, not my health and for that I'm very blessed.

Give yourself some time to heal. I believe there's someone out there for you who will not be afraid to commit to loving you 'in sickness and in health'.

From a fellow teacher,
Co-Mod Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, collapsed disk, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteo arthritis in spine and other locations.

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein: (1879-1955)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 495
   Posted 4/9/2008 11:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Fieldgoal -

I can honestly say I have never been in your situation. I've been lucky in that my husband has told me he loves me, broken pieces and all.

The one thing I can tell you is to be glad you found out her true character now. Be glad that your aren't finding this out after a marriage, children, and more. I can tell you I am appalled that she would do such a thing - but it proves that she would not have married you "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". I am in no way trying to say what she did was right - but it could very well have been from fear of being so closely attached to someone - and then losing them. Or a fear of sickness that she herself has. Growing up I was moved around quite a bit as an Air Force brat - in my teenage year a way that I wrongly adjusted to the moves - was to pull myself away from the people I cared about most, because I knew I would be losing them. It was never the "right" thing to do, but it was one of the ways that I coped.

I applaud you in not wishing the same thing on her - that is a very hard thing not to do when someone has hurt us. Just look at her as a learning experience, and move on. You loved her, and she loved you, but she isn't the one you were meant to be with, or she would have stuck around with you no matter how things end. People with chronic pain need strong people around them, because even though we carry heavier loads than just about anyone I know - we can't always do it on our own. If nothing else - you've found healing well out of this.

I wish you the best - and know that since she was not the right one, they are still out there waiting for you.

"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of one thing we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on... or we will be taught to fly.'"

"Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of, You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take; On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough, You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off, Then you Stand" From "Stand" by Rascal Flatts
Dx.: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Ulcerlative Colitis, Chronic Inflammation of the Colon, Ruptured & Fused L4-L5-S1 w/pinched nerves, Degenerative Disc Disease, Chronic Costochondritis, Back Muscle Spasms, Asthma, Benign Tremmors (hands)

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 86
   Posted 4/10/2008 2:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Be glad she is gone to me she sounds like a user and wants someone to always pay her way through life. I know that someday you will find the person you were meant to be with and she obviously wasn't the one
Baruch atah Aadonai
Hashem loves you whether you like it or not
Pray for the peace of Y'rushalayim
Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Asthma, degenerative disc disease, facet disease, osteoarthritis, hypertension

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