I can honestly say I have never been in your situation. I've been lucky in that my husband has told me he loves me, broken pieces and all.
The one thing I can tell you is to be glad you found out her true character now. Be glad that your aren't finding this out after a marriage, children, and more. I can tell you I am appalled that she would do such a thing - but it proves that she would not have married you "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". I am in no way trying to say what she did was right - but it could very well have been from fear of being so closely attached to someone - and then losing them. Or a fear of sickness that she herself has. Growing up I was moved around quite a bit as an Air Force brat - in my teenage year a way that I wrongly adjusted to the moves - was to pull myself away from the people I cared about
most, because I knew I would be losing them. It was never the "right" thing to do, but it was one of the ways that I coped.
I applaud you in not wishing the same thing on her - that is a very hard thing not to do when someone has hurt us. Just look at her as a learning experience, and move on. You loved her, and she loved you, but she isn't the one you were meant to be with, or she would have stuck around with you no matter how things end. People with chronic pain need strong people around them, because even though we carry heavier loads than just about
anyone I know - we can't always do it on our own. If nothing else - you've found healing well out of this.
I wish you the best - and know that since she was not the right one, they are still out there waiting for you.
"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of one thing we can be sure; either God will provide something solid to stand on... or we will be taught to fly.'"
"Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of, You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take; On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough, You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off, Then you Stand" From "Stand" by Rascal Flatts
Dx.: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, Ulcerlative Colitis, Chronic Inflammation of the Colon, Ruptured & Fused L4-L5-S1 w/pinched nerves, Degenerative Disc Disease, Chronic Costochondritis, Back Muscle Spasms, Asthma, Benign Tremmors (hands)