I don't know that I'd throw the baby out with the bathwater. Being a 24/7 caretaker is a dam hard job no matter how much love and respect exists between two people. The simple truth may be that after taking care of your physical needs, there just isn't anything left in him to give. Don't leave the decision for finding a new helper up to him. It's your body, your health and your needs that are at stake here. Just do it. In time, and with the physical pressures of daily living off, he just might be able to provide some of the emotional support you need. If he doesn't, well - that's what a good therapist is for, right?
As for finding someone new to help with daily activities, you might even try a church. Many years ago a very good friend of ours died of AIDS. Several people with a local church came over every day during the work week and did everything including helping him in and out of the bathroom. Talk about angels, huh? I know that probably wouldn't be a good long-term situation for you, but if someone could come in 2 or 3 times a week and give your bf some time off, it might help.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but still alive and living with my husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, 1 quaker parrot and 2 gold fish.