I decided to resurrect this thread because of something that happened to me yesterday. I didn't realize how much it was going to affect me. I was in a small but crowded farmer's market store, waiting in the cheese line (greatest cheese in town at lowest $$ - ok, off topic
) and a former co-worker appeared out of nowhere and came up to me. Now I was laid off from my pt. time job last December - while out on medical leave for back surgery. This particular co-worker was the one I felt the closest to, at least while at work. We shared a lot although never did social things as she was married with a family (Ry & other single women will understand). But still, we shared including out health issues. So when I was laid off I was shocked that she never once called me. She had my home phone number. And she signed the card the group sent me with a few words - I think something like "you're in my thoughts". That was it. I didn't expect anything more from other co-workers, but from her, I expected at least a phone call or a note. So when she appeared out of nowhere I was surprised, to say the least. Had I seen her first, I likely would have tried to avoid her. But she asked the typical how are you doing questions, and when I told her in general terms not so good either health wise or financially, it was just a typical response - gee, that's too bad stuff. Not that I expected anything more by this time. We chatted a bit and then she left, but it wasn't until last night and today that I'm realizing how much that hurt. And I'm also still angry with her, but it's not worth dealing with her about
it. It's just one more in a long list of losses and disappointments, like all of you experience. So I knew that coming here there would be people who did understand!
You know, I'm starting to measure people's authenticity by offers of help. Sincere offers. And they are few and far between. My cousin is helping me financially or I'd never be able to maintain my COBRA coverage. Still, she doesn't know from month to month if she'll have enough to give me, but she is GIVING it. It's not a loan, as she knows there's no way I can pay her back. But she "gets" how bad it is for me. And my physical therapist gave me sessions at no charge when my benefits ran out. And there have been one or two other sincere offers of help. I mean even if people can't help financially, there are a lot of other things - even offering to be there if I need to talk. You all know. There are many small things. The point is when people ask me how I'm doing and I'm honest with them (and I do not tell everyone what's going on with me, that's for sure!) and then they say gee, that's too bad or something along those line, and then proceed to tell you about
their NORMAL lives I want to scream - Did you just hear what I told you???? You know those commercials about
And as a quick update, one of the reasons I started this thread was the e-mail I received from a former classmate who was going to call me when he and his wife were in town. The one I told about
my chronic pain who said he understood because his brother also suffers with it. Guess what? He never called.