Hi Gabbs
I am sorry to hear you are having such awful pain! You did not mention medication(or maybe I just mised it) Have you ever taken anything to help ease the pain a bit. Maybe seeing a pain specialist could help you get back to doing the things you feel comfortable doing.
I can relate to what your going through. I began dating my husband before the pain started but we had only been together for a month before everything got turned upside down(whirlwind romance, we were already living together by then). All I could think was, he is defenitly going to break up with me, who would want to deal with this?
So I hid it and tried to do everything I normally would for ao long. It hurt worse to suffer silently, sneaking out to the doc so no one would know.
It was really causing me alot of added stress and depression to hide my pain and eventually I sat him down and told gim everything. I remember being so nervous after I was finished thinking, well this is it, nice while it lasted...see ya later buddy.
To my surprise he grabbed a hold of me and started talking about taking care of me and getting me the help I needed. I felt so releived after I told him.
But I think if he had gotten up and left I would have been relieved also to know he wasnt going to be the one for me(well i'm sure I would have sse that after the depression cleared)
But I do think you would be doing yourself more of a favor telling him than expending all the energy it takes to suffer silently. If he cant handle it, it's good that you know that now, however hard it will be. If he leaves, you desereve better. Someone that will want to be with you No matter what is going on.
But with that said, I do know how hard that is and more easily said than done. you deserve to have the love and support of someone you want to be with.
You wont know until you try and down the road you'll be happy you found out just what he can handle.
There are man out there who wantto be with you besides having chronic pain. My husband and I knew eachother a month before I got sick and ended up getting engaged 2 months later.
He's already wanted to introduce you to his parents, thats a big deal for most guys.
His reaction may just surprise you. But never settle for less than you deserve.
Hugs
Freya
In suffering, we are given the key to a door which most rarely
get to open. Behind it lies the ultimate gift which is only visible
in our darkest hour.
True strength.