My cousin just passed away

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 535
   Posted 6/5/2008 12:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I just found out that one of my beloved cousins has passed away

Unfortunately no one has much information about what happened. All I know is that she was complaining of pain in her neck the day before and was found in her apartment the next day. Alone sad sad

I'm so upset over this life is just so short and you just don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

So both myself and my wife have to make a 7 hour trip to New York City and Long Island.

I haven't been to NYC or seen my cousins in close to 10 years and I always talked about taking my wife down to meet them as she has never been there.

Unfortunately, this isn't what I had in mind sad

I know the trip is going to kill me and my wife will not drive outside of Maine so it's really going to be tough on me.

If I don't go I'm going to hate myself so that's not an option

Then if this wasn't enough I have to drive 3.5 hours one way for an appointment with my Lyme doctor.

Post Edited (quahog) : 6/4/2008 11:58:11 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 6/5/2008 1:14 AM (GMT -6)   
My deepest condolences for your loss. I wonder if it had something to do with that vein or artery that doctors feel for and often send patients to have it cleared out. Maybe God bless you and your family during this difficult time.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 6/5/2008 1:22 AM (GMT -6)   

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope you have a safe trip to be with your family. Take care


Pamela Neckpain
Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 6/5/2008 4:17 AM (GMT -6)   
My daughter always tells me, "You can only do what you can do."
If you can't do it, don't do it. Your Aunt certainly understands.
She'll smile down from Heaven and be with you in spirit.
I know you miss you Aunt, but you don't want to join her - not quite
My condolences.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/5/2008 7:31 AM (GMT -6)   

I am so sorry to hear of the death of your cousin. May God bless and comfort you and your family during this most stressful time.

Remember that stress exacerbates your pain, so try to rest as often as possible.

God's speed on your journey,

Warm Hugs,



Moderator Chronic Pain
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 103
   Posted 6/5/2008 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
My thoughts go out to you and your family and I am very sorry for your loss. Please have a safe trip and let us know when you return home
26 years old, living in Chicago, Chronic abdominal wall pain due to nerve entrapment. I have IBS-D and neuropathy. Gall bladder removed, 2 failed exploratory nerve surgery, pancreatitis, several hospitalizations for IBS flareups. Medications: Welchol, Align, Lunesta, Oxycodone, Thiamine, Zyrtec-D
I am a dance teacher and choreographer who loves children and cats! I am to be married on June 27, 2009 to my wonderful fiance Jon!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 6/5/2008 12:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Any loss of a loved one is stressful and leaves nerves/pain a little on edge. I know time is an issue getting to NYC but try to take it easier on your trip home. Have a safe trip.

My prayers are with you & your family.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.  (Hebrews 13:2)

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16603
   Posted 6/5/2008 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Quahog, my prayers are with you and your family. Try to stop often and get out of the car and move around on your trip. Sitting in one place too long can cause other problems as well. Be safe. Susie

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 6/5/2008 9:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I just want to add my sympathies on the loss of your cousin to everyone else's. I am hoping your travel isn't too painful physically, and that you can at least say your good-byes, and be with other family.

Take care,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 535
   Posted 6/6/2008 12:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you very much for your replies. I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon and will be spending the night in a hotel. The service is on Saturday morning and it will be too much for me to drive it all in one shot.

With the exception of my mother, I haven't spoken to any of my other family members in a very long time. I got along quite well with my cousins but because of the distances involved I only had the chance to visit with them on a rare occasion such as when I worked in NYC for a few months.

My brothers however are a different story. I have two and I haven't spoken to one of them in almost 3 years. We had a massive fight and we have not spoken since. He also suffers from chronic pain and has health issues but unlike myself he abuses drugs including his prescriptions. IE; Oxycontin, Morphine, Dilaudid, Heroin. pretty much anything he can get his hands on. When he would run out of his meds early he would constantly try to get me to give him mine nono After awhile when he would call me he would be so messed up I couldn't understand a word he said and I just became tired of it. So that's when had our fight and to make matters worse his children (my niece and nephew) were there and they witnessed us saying terrible things to one another. I was so hurt by all this so I decided it was best if I no longer associated with him but it hasn't been easy he is after all, still my brother and for so many years we were the best of friends.

My other brother is a fairly well known artist and he has the holier than thou attitude. I've tried to speak to him numerous times in person, on the phone, via email but I don't think he really wants anything to do with me. There is always this uncomfortable feeling between us.

I suspect he is upset with me because I am on disability and never did finish my degree. Obtaining a college education was always a big deal with him. I've tried on numerous times even as recently as this past winter. I made it halfway through the semester but my pain levels became so bad due to sitting in those terrible chairs. I tried pillows, different chairs, increasing my BT meds but nothing really helped.
I never told my family I was going back to school because if I couldn't do it I didn't want them holding that over my head.

Needless to say it is going to be very awkward and I am hoping and praying that things go smoothly.

Sigh, There's nothing quite like family is there?

Anyways, thanks again for the support and kind words you guys have no idea how much it means to me. Well, maybe you do now.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9157
   Posted 6/6/2008 11:42 AM (GMT -6)   

Have a safe trip and will pray that your family has a peaceful visit.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 6/6/2008 6:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Quahog..
I am so sorry to hear of the unexpected death of your cousin. Praying the Lord comfort you and your family during this time .
take the advice of your friends, and knwo you are remembered & cared for by your Healing Well family of friends,
Will also pray that LOVE will cover the multitude of differences
and a new Bond of Peace will come as result of this gathering

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their Strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run & not grow weary, they shall walk & not faint..."  Ish   40 v. 31 
Sjrogrens Syndrome, Asthema, Chronic Fatigue, Chronic Pain, Head aches, Migraines, Gastro Intestinal Problems , Esophegial Spasms;   Fibro Myalgia , Kidney Stones,  & CP (SI joint,   low mechanical back pain..L4 & L5 Vertebrae Misaligned,  Spinal Stenosis and Degenerative Disc Disease, Bulging Disc, anterolisthesis L4 L5L4 -- S1 pain  caused by osteoarthristis ,bone spurs, causing pinching or pressure on spinal chord)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 6/7/2008 11:14 PM (GMT -6)   


my deepest sympathies on your loss.

in my religion, we believe that the departed still exist on the earth in the good deeds that they have done and the love that they have shown.  i know that your cousin still lives in your memory and, in doing so, will exist as "real" for as long as you live and will be passed along to others when you speak of him and, through your words, his spirit will be passed to others, who will remember him and honor his name.

"may the Bringer of Peace bring peace to you and to all who mourn."

That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 535
   Posted 6/7/2008 11:44 PM (GMT -6)   

Well I'm back from NYC and boy am I EXHAUSTED. 7 hours down yesterday and 7 hours back today. Wow was that tough especially in the 90 + heat.

It was sooo hot down there. Yesterday the whole way down it was rainy and foggy and quite chilly 50-55 but as soon as we hit the NY border boom the sun came out and the temperature went up!

It was a lovely service and it was great seeing my other cousins once again who were so happy I could make it. As I told them there was no way I could not have gone.

One person's life touches so many others.

As for my brothers, My oldest brother seemed quite happy to see me and we did talk to each other for a little while. I really want to say much more but there was just too much going on.

My other brother the one whom I was closest to for so long was a different story. He would barely look at me and never said more then two words to me and Hello was not one of them. He looked terrible. He was falling asleep at the drop of a hat (Like some one on too much medication) he was also drinking alcohol in addition to taking his pain medications. Even my mother who did not believe me in the past when I brought him up was worried. I wanted to say something to him, anything but I just couldn't How do you after 3 years? When you've been so emotionally hurt?

I'm upset over this as well after all, he is my brother and I do love him but I do not love what he does.

After what happened with my cousin I'm afraid that one day I will wake up and he will be gone and I will have all these feeling hanging over my head sad

Anyways I want to thank you all so much for your condolences and support it has meant a lot to me.

Wmnak: I want to thank you for what you have said as well. I find your words to be incredibly thoughtful and sincere.

I am at a loss for words to describe how I feel right now

:-) :-)
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