I'm sorry for what you are going through. You can always speak to us here at Healing Well. We also have great chat rooms, so we can talk back and forth. It has really been a great experience for me. It makes me feel that I'm not alone and that others here understand what I'm going through.
I have been in chronic pain for over 8 years. Mainly in my back, shoulders, arms, and have lost a lot of the use of my left hand (of course, I'm left handed -sometimes I just have to laugh) - which can be great medicine in itself.
I too went for years silently dealing with the extent of my pain. I was short-tempered with my family and they didn't understand why and they certainly didn't deserve it. I was injured working on the computer and was seeing a doctor through work comp. I've tried everything there is to try.
I now belong to Kaiser (it's a health care program that is all tied together). I have many doctors and they can all access my records anytime. I went through a "pain clinic" class and learned even more helpful exercises. I now have my own "pain specialist" who does not judge me and does whatever it will take to help me. I do have to take a lot of pain meds - but it's better than sitting around all the time everyday.
It was also when I started the pain classes that I don't have to worry about sitting too long and avoiding anything that involved that. I have a special seat-pad for my car which supports both my lumbar (and with the help of another pillow - supports my thoracic). I cannot sit or stand for more than an hour without pain shooting through me.
I decided that I have a right to go out and see a movie and sit in an airplane. I take my seat with me anywhere I will be sitting. I also make sure to stand when I need to. Nobody looks at me like I'm a freak. And it's such a feeling of freedom and a little more independance.
Please speak with your daughter / family. Mine has been very supportive and caring. When I have a short temper, they know it's because my pain levels are too bad. I am now keeping the pain under control with medication - it's worth it!
I'm lucky to have found such a wonderful loving caring husband (right before all the pain business began). Last night I was so curled up with pain (3 days of constipation - an effect of opiads). He went to the store, bought me some prunes and lay down with me on the bed as I ran back and forth to the restroom! He is such a comfort.
Anyway, I'm sorry to ramble on - sometimes I feel like the "pain expert" (by the way - taking Senna S usually takes care of the constipation).
Lisa aka pain