Bad day once again!

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 7/16/2008 7:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like crying! I hate this and I guess its time to vent once more so here we go once again with the dreaded pity party! Had to drive clear over to Walmart and get a few thing and now I'm in so much pain I think I am gonna die! It feels like someone has a knife in my back and is twisting each never into a tiny ball. Will this never end??? Took a muscle relaxer 750mgs of Robaxin and I realize that I can take two of them but I would rather wait until its time for bed to take the second dose so that I can sleep. I feel so alone in this, but I know you all have felt this way too. Tried meditating and that didn't work so again I lay here on the bed and think of things that I can do to bring the pain down a touch, but nothing is working so far.

I hate driving, because I have to knock down my doses so that I can focus on the drive. So most of the time I sit at home and if I need anything I can call hubby to go get them, but sometimes I just have to get out of the house and feel that if I don't go do something that I will go mad! Anyone else feel this way?

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 16570
   Posted 7/16/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey, we have all felt that way before. Its a hard life living with CP and it takes alot of endurance to survive sometimes. But, I want to do just more than survive, I want to live and there is a difference between the two.

Personally, I would have gone ahead and took 2 of the Robaxin, because you may be headed for what I sometimes call the point of no return. It does sound like you have spasms going on and let me tell you they can cause pain from hell. I went thru nearly ten weeks of hell from spasms from a fall. I was allowed to take my Zanaflex every 2 hrs and my pain dr also gave me a script of Baclofen to take at bedtime. Now, keep in mind I have a pain pump implanted plus Dilaudid 2mg for BT pain. I did better with the muscle relaxers than I did the BT pain med.

I also hear alot of stress and anxiety in your voice. One thing I use to do is soak in a hot tub and just lay my head on a pillow and try to relax. That also helped me. Now, we just have a large walkin shower so I let the shower head work on my neck & back. I fell too many times getting in & out of the tub due to bad knees so it had to go. Another thing I will suggest is getting a portable spa for your tub. They are not that expensive and they do help.

I do applaud you for getting out of the house. Thats a must. Staying in the house 24/7 is no good. Go out and stand in the sun on your patio/porch every day. You need the vitamin D from the sun. I hope you get to feeling better, hugs, Susie 

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 7/17/2008 12:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I am with you on this one, I have been feeling awful lately. I guess I am down in the dumps again. The pain and fatigue are really getting to me lately and working on my nerves. I often feel worthless and I have no quality of life when I get like this. I usually feel better if I get out of the house a bit if only for a little while, but it is so hard to make myself when I get like this. The arthritis in my back and the fibro and ibs and the ibs, it is just overwhelming lately. Additionally, I have applied and been denied disability and am in the appeal stage where i have to see the judge now; here it can take 18 mos. I have a lawyer and he is certain I will get it, but waiting is awful. Our finances are in a mess, we are behind and I have to wait to get some of my meds filled sometimes, (like now I am out of my hormone patch and my mobic), which doesn't help my nerves. My husband has had two surgeries since June and developed pheumonia, pleuracy, and partially collapsed lung... he doesn't get paid when out of work and was out for several weeks, so we are even further behind. I don't feel like keeping up housework or anything. Saw dr today who tells me to definaltely try to get hormone patches to help, because that can make my feel lousy without them and that being so young with these chronic problems just takes a toil on me and it is a viscious cycle. She says the fibro and arhtritis and my severe ibs are just really hard to live with and she is sooooo right. Anyway, I have just had a rough couple of weeks lately and in addition to that, everything has been rough lately with finances and my husbands health problems; and he never, ever gets sick. I just wish something would give... if I could get my disability and have some extra needed money coming in that would help tremendously, we could pay the bills without being behind and I could afford all my medicines at one time. I worry about losing our home and keeping groceries and the power on; it just never seems to end. I am only 39 I am not supose to feel like this and I absolutely hate it, hate it, hate it!!!!! So, I know how this can make you feel. It seems like some people have theirs more under control than I do and I just don't know what elese I can do. I either sleep a whole lot or not at all and I know that makes things worse as well. Maybe one day when I have less stress I will feel some better; I hope anyway. I hope you will feel better so and I hope I will too.

Have a wonderful pain free day, Anne.

IBS, fibromyalgia,arthritis, depression, anxiety, PTSD, GERD, migraines, past endometriosis, ovarian cysts, polyps in uterus = hysterectomy, gallbladder removal; liver resection

cymbalta, amitza, vivelle patch, fentanyl patch, oxycodone, levisyn, restoril, xanax, phenergan, mobic, fioracett, skelaxin

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1560
   Posted 7/17/2008 9:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much for your posts. Straydog; I had to get out of the house, its driving me nuts and I thank you for posting back to me. Sometimes I just want to scream because of all this pain and feeling so bad about myself. I know what you mean about wanna do more then just survive. I was once a healthy woman that was able to go hunting and fishing and hiking and camping, but now I spend most of my time at home in the hot tub or in the bath because its the only thing that helps. I have a Coleman hot tub, its in a room just off the house and I do spend plenty of time in there but with the weather being so hot and I have been plagued throughout my life since I was a kid, of what I call not sweating properly. Its kinda weird because I don't sweat so I can get sunstroke easily and do not sweat under my armpits alike to most folks. My face will get beat red and hubby knows to get me cooled off as soon as possible cause I can go into heatstroke if I don't hydrate. So when it is very hot outside I avoid the sun at all costs.

Floss; I too have applied for disability and was denied twice. Went with my hearing before the judge advocate last month and am still waiting to hear back from that. Its not too bad to go through, just answer his or her questions as honestly as you can and be genuine. You are allowed to walk around during the hearing and that helped with the pain as I cannot sit for long periods of time. I know how you feel as far as wanting to help with the finances, we are not exactly living the life of the rich here either. Hubby works ungodly hours usually leaving at 7:00am and not getting home until 7 or 8:00pm and I feel so bad that I cannot work to help him out. It usually takes around a year to get your hearing so you have some time. I too don't feel up to housework and hubby tries to keep up on the dishes, vacuuming, and laundry as much as he can, but most of the time he is so tired after a long day at work that he doesn't feel up to doing any of it either. If I do the dishes it takes me 4 hours to do a sink full of dishes as I have to do them in small increments and take breaks often.

I am so sorry that the two of you are going through the pain and if you ever need to vent I am here for you both :-)
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