I know exactly what you mean about
feeling like an eight year old. It can be a debilitating experience in more ways than one.
Did you ask the treating doctor for a copy of the report, or did you call the medical records office later? The ER I usually go to always sends a copy of the records to my PCP - I don't even have to ask, but they keep everything on the computer, so they wouldn't have the ability to print it for me right then and there whilst I'm at the ER. If, however, you call the hospital's medical records office anytime after the date of your ER visit, they are obligated to provide you with a copy of your records. My hospital is very obliging in this regard and since they use this computerized reporting system, the records are available for me as soon as the very next day (although it is usually quite a while longer than that before I am physically up to getting out of the house again after an ER visit!
) I'd suggest that you try calling the medical records office if you haven't yet.